Solved

They won't let me delete this post since someone commented on it already, but I figured the problem out. Thanks y'all.

I'm not sure I understand everything about the headgear pieces, but I think you're saying the short, flexible tube of your N30 and the hose coming from the machine are very tightly connected? I use an airsense 11, so I'm not sure if this applies to your machine, but I do use an N30. I was also afraid I was going to break the hose or tube trying to get them apart. I found I had to grasp the hose (the thing that attaches to the machine) and the tube (the thing that attaches to the headgear) where they attach to each other and rock the tube back and forth pretty hard to loosen them up while also pulling. I was sure I was going to break one of them, but I didn't, and they came apart. I've been doing this for weeks, and so far so good.