They Tell Me I Need This Machine

[ckeith]

I find it Intolerable !

Right now I feel the only place I can start with my New CPAP machine is to jump up and down on it
I am told that I can't sell the thing on ebay -

People who know me say they appreciate me as a nice calm fellow, nice to be around
I have never been one who is susceptible to temper tantrums or Irrational Rage - at least - NOT until now !

I have recently had a heart valve job and I presently suffer from Atrial Fibrillation and so have been prescribed Apixaban, a blood thinner
I have recently been enduring Chronic Insomnia that seemed to be quickly worsening, so the Doctor recommended a sleep study
The diagnosis was a "Severe Sleep Apnea" Oxegen level drops to 78%, and so a CPAP machine was prescribed

I can't stand it ! - The damded thing sends me into a RAGE ! - I can hardly refrain from jumping up and down on the OFFENCE
I can feel the adrenalin surge, Blood Pressure and Heart Rate go through the roof ! - I'll end up in an ambulance to get
Zapped by the Paddles again, in order to DeFib me at this rate!

I can't sleep Now ! - I get about two hours a night - How in HELL can I be expected to sleep with an INVASIVE Appliance
strapped to my head, that is constantly Blowing AIR up my nose ! - NO WAY on God's Blue Marble !!! -
How can anybody adapt to this THING! - I feel myself incapable. It's like asking me to climb a mountain with roller skates on !

It seems so bloody Stupid to me ! - So counter intuitive !!! -
"Here clamp this thing on, let it blow air up your nose - pleasant dreams !" HA HA HA

I sleep on my side and move around a lot - It blows air all over my face - I can't endure for moire than 5 min. Let alone sleep with it !
I have an appointment with the Sleep Specialist - I expect he will recommend a different mask - I am skeptical

I KNOW I need to control this Apnea - I can't see how it is possible with THAT #@*!%^& THING - getting desperate

[chunkyfrog]

Problem.

[Julie]

What (specifically) machine do you have? What mask? What pressure settings? What meds do you take? With no info, we can't help much though would like to (and there is lots of help), but please don't implode - won't help at all.

[ckeith]

.
I can't see that the machine issued me is listed on the Profile entry page

"ResMed AirSense 10 Autoset" is titled on the Instruction Manual
The Mask issued me has "Philips Respironics" printed on the back
it fits over the nose - (edit) Pressure setting 10

The Humidifier is part of the machine
Nowhere can I see what Software is installed

I have no ICQ , AOL etc etc as requested on the Profile entry form
I have nothing suitable as an Avatar at the moment


Meds
- Eliquis (Apixaban) 5 mg - twice a day - blood thinner
- Metoprolol 25 mg - twice a day - Blood pressure
- Rosuvastatin 20 mg - 0nce a day - cholesterol reducer
- Tamsulosin 0.4 mg - once a day
- 300mg Iron Supplement - Once a day

I was healthy until last year - Active 170 lbs
NOW - Chronic Insomnia - Heart condition - Valve Op. approx. a year ago
Diagnosed Severe Apnea - Oxygen drops to 78%

I was doing well for many months - Was on Warfarin for the Blood thinner
I am wondering if the Insomnia is not a result of the Apnea but an effect of the Eliquis ???
Maybe I should go back to Warfarin the Rat Poison previously prescribed for blood thinner

WHAT EVER
I cannot Stand that THING on my face! - What is presently less healthy for me ?
Awakening numerous with a startle, even when trying to nap during the day

OR - Having my Blood pressure go up to 205 and my Heart rate up to 130 every time I put the mask on ??
(edit) If I allow it to go much higher that that and it stays there for any length of time I will have to go
to the hospital and get shot down with the Paddles and they can only do that so many times

Blood pressure presently averages 148 - Heart Rate 82

I seem to be in a NO WIN SITUATION - And that Angers me -

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[Julie]

Well, much as I imagine you hate to hear this, and apart from any help we can give with your Cpap experience, what's gonna get you is your anger at the world... and if you care about your family etc, I'd make every effort to deal with that immediately as it'll impact everything else you do. Life doesn't have to be a war, settle down and we can address things one by one. Can you be as specific as possible about what you don't like about the mask - name should be imprinted on the silicon 'cushion' in good lighting - badly fitting and hurts someplace? Wrong size and leaks all over? What position do you sleep in - it matters, and there are special Cpap bed pillows with cutouts for side-sleeping Cpappers.

You should (if you haven't already) go over your meds with your MD carefully to see what might or might not impact your sleep... maybe certain ones can be exchanged for others if necessary, or taken at diff. times of the day...

The point is to fix what's possible asap, but get your anger out of the way (of course it's valid - lots has happened quickly to you - but help will be hard if you let the anger go a bit). So many people here have had all kinds of problems, but have taken a deep breath and given themselves a chance to get better one problem at a time.

[palerider]

.
I can't see that the machine issued me is listed on the Profile entry page

"ResMed AirSense 10 Autoset" is titled on the Instruction Manual
The Mask issued me has "Philips Respironics" printed on the back
...
I seem to be in a NO WIN SITUATION - And that Angers me - .

it's listed as "AirSense™ 10 AutoSet CPAP Machine with HumidAir™ Heated Humidifier"

you're only in a no-win situation if you let your anger control you... and that's what you're doing.

[Pugsy]

Look on your machine for confirmation as to exact model.
The manual may be a combination manual given out for multiple models.
In the profile equipment menu the AirSense models are listed but without the "ResMed" wording in front of the AirSense. So the menu has things in alphabetical order and the various AirSense models are very near the top of the list.

Disregard the software choices. Those are for old outdated software from back when the software was sold to patients. Those versions don't apply anymore anyway.

Don't worry about doing the Profile section that has the ICQ number...we usually leave all that blank.
The important part is the equipment profile.

For your mask look through the masks offered at cpap.com until you find the one that looks like the one you have or if you still have the packaging look on the package.
https://www.cpap.com/cpap-masks.php
You can select Phillips Respironics to narrow the masks you have to sort through.

[palerider]

I cannot Stand that THING on my face! - What is presently less healthy for me ?
Awakening numerous with a startle, even when trying to nap during the day

OR - Having my Blood pressure go up to 205 and my Heart rate up to 130 every time I put the mask on ??
Blood pressure presently averages 148 - Heart Rate 82

you DO realize that untreated sleep apnea is a major contributor to high blood pressure?

[Sir NoddinOff]

I don't even know where to start with your illogical rant! I've never seen anything so puzzling in all my years here at CPAPtalk, and I've read some incredible denial filled posts. I just hope to hell you're trying to punk us because if you aren't you're in serious trouble. On the positive side, if you've got the 'grit' to adapt you've still got some time to sort it all out before it's too late. Good luck.

[Janknitz]

Most of us when through this anger, it's part of the grief process--you are grieving over the loss of the healthy person you thought you were until your rude awakening. It's not unusual to feel the way you do.

You have two choices here--work through the anger or get stuck in it. Which will it be? Do you want to feel this way the rest of your life?

If you want help to get through the anger stage and on to acceptance, we can help. If you just want to rage, rage on. We'll still be here--the question is--will you?

Those of us who have gone beyond found that the CPAP is saving our lives, one night at a time. It becomes a comfort instead of a punishment, but not without a lot of hard work, first. When you're ready . . .

[Julie]

Good post!

[ckeith]

Well, much as I imagine you hate to hear this, and apart from any help we can give with your Cpap experience,
................................................................. what's gonna get you is your anger at the world... .

Sorry Julie
I am NOT angry at the world - I am angry at being demanded to do what for me is Impossible
People who know me, know me as a gentle and caring person . My wife of 43 yrs and my grown
children will all attest to that. They are all very concerned and see the downhill I'm presently on

The anger no doubt comes from LACK of SLEEP - I get no more than 2hrs at a stretch - Many nights
that's ALL I get - Try that for a month or two and see what that does for your disposition.

Even now at this moment, my wife will attest that I am NOT a miserable SOB - I am too tired - too exhausted
- It sucks out all my energy, volition, cognitive ability. It's like slowly turning into a Zombie - IT's NOT FUNNY!

So when I am NOW told that I must climb a mountain with Roller Skates on, and NOW I must sleep with
this INVASION blowing air into my head, and I KNOW that it is impossible for me to achieve that
- I get angry, very ANGRY - I suppose another person might CRY, but ANGER seems the only response left me

Already it takes me 1 1/2 hrs to 2 hrs to get any sleep on a good night and then 2 hrs later, like clockwork
- I am UP awake ! - Usually unable to return to sleep for at least another 3 hrs -

On the night of my sleep test I totaled no more than 2 hrs - The attendant asked me how I felt -
I told him terrible - He said "It's no wonder" - I have have Serious OCA and my Oxygen klunks bottom @ 78%

So now I have this THING attached to me blowing air up my nose and all over my face.
And THAT is suppose to HELP me sleep !??! - This is the help offered me??? "Sweet Dreams"

I usually sleep on my side and move around a lot and any movement seems to break the seal - It NOW becomes
absolutely impossible to get even the meager 2 hrs allotted to me - I get to lie there with air blowing up my nose
looking at the wall or studying the ceiling. - getting Angry - Until I know that my Heart Rate had better come
down quick, so I pull the dammed thing off and go listen to quiet classical for a while and try to calm myself


.

[ckeith]

you DO realize that untreated sleep apnea is a major contributor to high blood pressure?

Yes I know! - The Doctors have informed - without meds My average pressure runs around 160-170
with meds it runs 145-150 - If my Apnea was controlled it could drop to near normal 135-140

If I put the mask on it goes to 200-210 - I get the distinct feeling that I am doomed & that Angers me
The mask feels like an INVASION, It seems UNATURAL, with all the air going up my nose I still feel
as though I am choking - perhaps I am rewriting a Classic PANIC attack into a RAGE !!!

But still the Insomnia make it impossible

[Julie]

Ok, got it... I couldn't function period on 2 hrs... terrible, but we can make a big difference... however (don't you love that ) please, please respond to the questions so we can get the show on the road for you! And do stay with this thread so we can follow the sequence.

[ckeith]

I don't even know where to start with your illogical rant! I've never seen anything so puzzling in all my years here at CPAPtalk,
and I've read some incredible denial filled posts. I just hope to hell you're trying to punk us because if you aren't you're in serious trouble.
On the positive side, if you've got the 'grit' to adapt you've still got some time to sort it all out before it's too late. Good luck.

trying to PUNK you !!! - & What in HELL is it that I am incredibly DENYING !!!
I KNOW that I'm in serious trouble !! - And I see NO solution
other than to hope the problem is Eliquis and right now that
seems to me to be a very thin string