Hitting Wife While Sleeping

[msimpson]

I am new to CPAPTALK. I was diagnosed with Sleep Apnea a few years ago and have been on a cpap machine since then. My numbers were horrible before I started (Stopped breathing an average of 74 times and hour). The cpap machine helped tremendously up to a few months ago (got down to an average of 10-15 episodes an hour). My numbers then started going up and I felt like I hadn't slept. On top of that, I began hitting or kicking my wife while I slept due to vivid dreams. This is not something I am proud of. I've been married for 39+ years. The sleep doctor ordered another sleep study. He recommended me switching to a bi-pap machine which I did. I've only used it for less than a week so far. My episode number has stabilized somewhat but I am still hitting and kicking my wife. Not sure what to do at this point. Any suggestions?

[Lucyhere]

Well, one obvious suggestion is that you sleep in a different room until this gets resolved. Good luck in sorting this out.

[colomom]

I am new to CPAPTALK. I was diagnosed with Sleep Apnea a few years ago and have been on a cpap machine since then. My numbers were horrible before I started (Stopped breathing an average of 74 times and hour). The cpap machine helped tremendously up to a few months ago (got down to an average of 10-15 episodes an hour). My numbers then started going up and I felt like I hadn't slept. On top of that, I began hitting or kicking my wife while I slept due to vivid dreams. This is not something I am proud of. I've been married for 39+ years. The sleep doctor ordered another sleep study. He recommended me switching to a bi-pap machine which I did. I've only used it for less than a week so far. My episode number has stabilized somewhat but I am still hitting and kicking my wife. Not sure what to do at this point. Any suggestions?

You said your doc ordered another sleep study, have you done the new study yet? You will want an in lab study so they can monitor your sleep stages. A couple of things your doctor needs to look into are: is your sleep apnea well treated and are acting out dreams during REM sleep? There is an uncommon sleep disorder called REM behavior disorder that causes people to physically act out dreams. If the acting out of dreams is a new problem push your doctor to investigate, it’s unlikely but there are some neurological problems that can cause RBD. Hopefully the sleep study will or has ruled REM behavior disorder out, it would show up in the findings as REM sleep without atonia.

You cannot control what happens when you sleep, so don’t feel guilty. There are some things you can do help keep both you and your wife safer while you sleep. You can sleep in separate bedroom, beds, or alternatively you could sleep in a mummy sleeping bag to help constrain you arm and leg movements. Remove anything sharp or dangerous from your bedroom. If you tend to fall out of bed you can install bed rails or putting some kind of padding on the floor. If you walk in your sleep lock doors and windows and keep your car keys in a location where they aren’t easy to grab.

Good luck!

[jimbud]

Any suggestions?

Yeah. Read the first two announcements on the home page.

Get Oscar.

Post some charts on this thread.

got down to an average of 10-15 episodes an hour

That is still "horrible".

There is help on here.

JPB

[msimpson]

Thanks for all the responses. I had the sleep study and my doctor follow-up is in a few weeks. In the meantime, I will take Melatonin to help calm this down. The thought of not sleeping with my wife is unacceptable but hitting her is worse. Thanks Again !!!

[Deborah K.]

If nothing else works you could switch to twin beds placed side by side. Because you would be under your own blankets I don't think you could accidentally kick or hit her anymore, but you could still be right beside her. It would be better than being across the room or in separate rooms, and way better than potentially harming her. Just an idea to consider.

[greatunclebill]

Acting out your dreams can also be caused by certain anti-anti-anxiety drugs like cymbalta.

[Rob K]

I just figured out that I'm sort of dealing with the same problem. Unconsciously adjusting body position, limbs, blankets, cpap mask. Turing in bed and moving body and limbs during dreams. Nothing violent yet but I have it all on video. This stuff is happening 30-50 times every night and I feel terrible every day. I only remember a small fraction of this stuff in the morning. It's likely rem sleep disorder since it seems to correlate with my light and rem sleep stages.

I've recently learned how to interpret my xpap data using the Oscar software. From studying the flow rate chart, breathing patterns and general xpap data I now realize that most or all of the events my machine is flagging are false. It's all sleep wake junk, false recordings from the machine that doesn't know the difference between awake and asleep breathing. Learning to interpret that data has help tremendously.

I'll be following along to see how things progress for you since you are farther along than I am. I need to find a new doc and likely have another sleep study at this point.

[deepsleep66]

I have been tentatively diagnosed with REM Behaviour Disorder. I haven't injured my spouse, but my active sleeping has interfered with her sleep. In addition to a lot of random movement, I have vocalizations and one instance of actually jumping out of bed to avoid someone who was approaching me in my dream. I woke up on the floor, having bruised my face on the night table. Will be starting Melatonin soon, though I want to first get going with a beta blocker that has been prescribed for A Fib. I have also stopped watching the evening news and, instead, meditating before going to sleep. My dreams seem to be calmer as a result. I sleep separately several nights a week and that helps my wife's sleep.

My sleep MD wants me to have another in patient sleep study, but I'm reluctant to do that until the pandemic is more or less behind us. The main purpose would be to rule out seizures or other neurological causes which are rare, but treatable with medication.

[TonyG]

Thanks for all the responses. I had the sleep study and my doctor follow-up is in a few weeks. In the meantime, I will take Melatonin to help calm this down. The thought of not sleeping with my wife is unacceptable but hitting her is worse. Thanks Again !!!

I would really get worried if she starts hitting back

[Hornnumb2]

What prescriptions are you on, may be a side effect of one.