Mental block

[lisav1961]

I have been diagnosed with sleep apnea and have a cpap machine,was taught how to use it correctly, and there it sits, next to my bed on its own little table. I have some sort of mental block regarding the machine. I don't like it and I don't want to use it. People who have one tell me that it will be the greatest night's sleep I have ever had, I still don't like the thought of wearing it, when I put it on, I feel as if I am being suffocated. Just by all the hardware, and then when I turn it on, I have no idea how people can sleep with those things, my sleep is tenuous enough without worrying about leaks and squeaks and noises, etc. And let's face it, the thing is just ugly. If anyone can tell me something I haven't heard before about how easy this thing is to use and get used to, please, enlighten me. It sits there staring at me every night and I can't seem to use it. Thanks.

[Stormynights]

Your sleep problems will not change unless you use it. It won't heal on its own. Yes it is ugly. So what? What is your health worth? The first step is your determination to use it. Without that no one can help you. There is a lot of help available to you here but you have to decide if you really want it.

Best wishes

[chunkyfrog]

Don't wait until bed time to start "practicing".
Get acquainted with your mask, and then mask and machine together, in the daytime.
Kind of like an arranged marriage, isn't it?
Wide awake, watching TV, or whatever. Learning to trust it is not easy for everyone--even great big jocks.
Once your mind is familiar with the equipment, sleeping with it will be easier.
I understand your hesitancy at going to bed with a strange mask and machine.
Once you get to know each other it will get much, MUCH better. :
Remember, pretty is only surface dressing; trust is a very beautiful thing indeed.
Your machine is just waiting to help you sleep better and heal; don't disappoint it.

[Tino2You]

Well Lisa, for many of us, we can either use it or we can slowly kill ourselves with oxygen starvation and mind numbing lack of mental awareness. I knew I really needed it when I found myself drowsy and sleepy after only driving an hour on a three hour trip which I made many many time previously.

Yep it is ugly and for a while it will be uncomfortable and will in fact prevent sleep for a bit but with use, it will become a friend.

I apologize if this is not what you wanted to hear, but it is why I wear the mask and machine.

-tino

[49er]

I have been diagnosed with sleep apnea and have a cpap machine,was taught how to use it correctly, and there it sits, next to my bed on its own little table. I have some sort of mental block regarding the machine. I don't like it and I don't want to use it. People who have one tell me that it will be the greatest night's sleep I have ever had, I still don't like the thought of wearing it, when I put it on, I feel as if I am being suffocated. Just by all the hardware, and then when I turn it on, I have no idea how people can sleep with those things, my sleep is tenuous enough without worrying about leaks and squeaks and noises, etc. And let's face it, the thing is just ugly. If anyone can tell me something I haven't heard before about how easy this thing is to use and get used to, please, enlighten me. It sits there staring at me every night and I can't seem to use it. Thanks.

Hi Lisa,

Welcome!

If you could use the link in my signature to fill out your equipment profile, that would be very helpful. Then we can better tailor our advice to your situation.

It is definitely not easy to use. But hopefully, we can help you narrow down what your issues are and get you using the machine.

49er

[caffeinatedcfo]

I am not sure what equipment you have so I can not offer any specific help.

However, I wrestled with the concept of this permanent treatment and honestly was apprehensive until the first night I gave it a shot. It was then that I realized it wasn't all bad and it was just a short routine I had to add to my day that would help give me more time to see my children grow up and live life to the fullest.

You are at a cross-roads and need to choose what kind of life you want to have from this point forward.

[Todzo]

I have been diagnosed with sleep apnea and have a cpap machine,was taught how to use it correctly, and there it sits, next to my bed on its own little table. I have some sort of mental block regarding the machine. I don't like it and I don't want to use it. People who have one tell me that it will be the greatest night's sleep I have ever had, I still don't like the thought of wearing it, when I put it on, I feel as if I am being suffocated. Just by all the hardware, and then when I turn it on, I have no idea how people can sleep with those things, my sleep is tenuous enough without worrying about leaks and squeaks and noises, etc. And let's face it, the thing is just ugly. If anyone can tell me something I haven't heard before about how easy this thing is to use and get used to, please, enlighten me. It sits there staring at me every night and I can't seem to use it. Thanks.

Spend time with the machine during the day, every day, for the next several weeks. About an hour a day for the next two weeks and a half an hour for four or so after that. If you have trouble at night - time during the day.

This is a whole new way to breath. Time during the day is key.

[Kate M]

(snip...) I don't like it and I don't want to use it. People who have one tell me that it will be the greatest night's sleep I have ever had, I still don't like the thought of wearing it, when I put it on, I feel as if I am being suffocated. (snip...) If anyone can tell me something I haven't heard before about how easy this thing is to use and get used to, please, enlighten me. It sits there staring at me every night and I can't seem to use it. Thanks.

Welcome, Lisa! I am sure we can all identify with you. I don't think any of us would actually CHOOSE to use a CPAP if we didn't get (or expect to get) value from it. None of us actually LIKE it, and none of us WANT to use it. But we all get benefit from it and that is why we did the work to acclimate ourselves to the therapy and why we keep doing it. It is certainly an adjustment period, (one I am going through right now) but it is definitely worth it.

As for telling you about how easy it is to use and get used to... why would we want to tell you that? What good would that do? YOUR experience is the one that matters. It may be easy or it may be difficult for you. No way to know until you actually start! I will promise you this though, If you try, and you bring your difficulties here and take the advice of the great people here, you will have a great chance of adjusting well and reaping all the benefits of sleeping and breathing at the same time As for me, I am already sleeping better, waking up feeling more refreshed, thinking more clearly, remembering things better, feeling happier, and having more stamina to get through my workday and it's only been 9 days! Whether it is hard or easy, I am determined to keep reaping these and even more rewards of CPAP therapy!

Todzo has a good post here viewtopic.php?f=1&t=88639&p=813020&hili ... ng#p812869 about how to get used to the mask in steps. For me, it was relatively easy. I put the mask on, tried to relax, and fell asleep. That was that. Then I started having some anxiety issues for the first few minutes of each night (like you describe-- but it goes away within minutes!) With the help of the folks here, I am working through that and I expect it will go away soon.

The first step, as Stormynights said, is your own determination to use it. What do you need to do to shore that up?

Why don't you tell us a little more about you and your equipment? When and how were you diagnosed? What symptoms are you experiencing? What led up to your getting the sleep study? What was the result? What equipment do you have? You will see that most of us have gone into our profiles and chosen our equipment to show under our posts. It helps us help each other to know exactly what equipment we are using.

Again, welcome! If you want to try this, we will help.

Blessings,

Kate

[NateS]

Sorry you think your cpap machine looks ugly.

Try dressing it up with little photographs of those who love you and will miss you if you die prematurely as a result of your untreated condition.

You'd be surprised - It may help motivate you!

Good luck,

Nate

[Kate M]

Sorry you think your cpap machine looks ugly.

Try dressing it up with little photographs of those who love you and will miss you if you die prematurely as a result of your untreated condition.

You'd be surprised - It may help motivate you!

Good luck,

Nate

I didn't even think of that angle, Nate! If Lisa has a ResMed S9 and a little extra cash, she could try one of these.. skins for your S9! (Below photo from http://us-resmed.skinit.com/ ) They have hundreds of choices --not just VanGogh Sports Teams, animals, cartoons, paintings, photography...



I actually want this one:

[jaybeem]

I too am a newbie. But unlike you, I don't feel like a have a choice about using the machine. Although my sleep study results were "good" by comparison with many on CPAPtalk, my level of exhaustion leaves me no choice but to find a way to use CPAP. The first three nights I did not go to sleep until after 3 a.m. and slept badly at that...HATED the mask

Then I read a comment from someone to another newbie that suggested to stop focusing on all the things that were wrong--hoses, straps, positions, sleep position, blowing air, etc.--and start focusing on how great he/she would feel if he/she could get a good solid night's sleep. Using other advice, I changed the ramp time from 45 to 5 minutes, as I had been laying there thinking I was suffocating while waiting for it to start. I looped the hose over the headboard. I gave up on my favorite stomach position and changed to my side. I tucked sheets around my hands and arms to stop air blowing on me. The next night all I thought about was sleep, sleep, and more sleep. It still took awhile to get to sleep, but it certainly didn't take hours. I have since gotten a hose hanger, which stopped the air blowing on me. I am getting a new pillow today to accommodate side sleeping. And I am going to try a mini-dose of melatonin tonight.

Although my numbers look great, I am still exhausted to the point of desperation. I am seeing my primary care doctor tomorrow, because she really knows how to listen and may have solutions for my bloodshot eyes, fractured sleep, and lack of REM sleep. I am trying to fix the things I have control over (equipment and attitude) and to not focus on what I don't have control over (using or not using the machine, as that is not a choice for me).

Good luck to you. I hope you find a way to come to terms with CPAP!

[kteague]

For me a mental block and resistance look different. For a mental block, I have to steer myself away from the topic of the block with some diversion techniques then reapproach the topic from another angle.

When you believe you are suffocating without it, you will be more receptive to it regardless of any ugliness or discomfort you may associate with it. Do you have a copy of the details of your sleep study? Look at the black & white facts and see if they motivate you.

I would just like to suggest to you that quite probably you are making a potentially life altering decision with an impaired brain. If your brain is sleep deprived and oxygen deprived, you need to trust someone else who has your best interests at heart (family, doctor, us?) and take good advice. Your posting here is an excellent step in the right direction. It sounds like you just need a little nudge to go forward. Or a shove. Consider yourself nudged.

[NateS]

I actually want this one:

Great choice!

Nate

[RogerSC]

Picked up on two things from the OP:

1. Suffocating...your initial pressure may be too low. If you will tell us which cpap machine you have, and the pressure(s) that you're using, there might be some help for that *smile*.

2. Machine noise...try earplugs, that takes care of the noise problems for me. I was sleeping with earplugs before I started on cpap, but with cpap I appreciate them even more.

I'd suggest sorting out the problems that you have with the treatment one by one, and working on each one. And I also agree with the idea of using the machine a little when you're not sleeping, just to get acquainted, and maybe that will help you make a list of the problems so that you can work on solving them, too.

And I like the Starry Night cpap machine skin as well, one of my favorite Van Gogh paintings.