First night conspiracy

[lastlib]

Well, finally I got my CPAP. A fisher and paykal automatic icon. When i was considering whether to use a CPAP the doctor told me that if I used a CPAP my afib, high blood pressure, cholesterol,hang nails, thinning hair, adult pimples, and even bad hair days would disappear. He finally convinced me that if I used a CPAP world peace would occur instantly. Well as a peace loving human being how could I say no? So I got my CPAP
And used it last night for the first time.
When I got up this morning I turned immediately to CNN, MSNBC and Fox news and there was no stories about world peace breaking out. I fully expected to stories about the Syrians deciding to end their conflict by drawing carsd, with the high card winning; that Iran had reconsidered and instead of putting radical Muslims in charge they had ceded the government over to officials of the B'hai religion; That Iraq and Afganistan had decided that IEDs were a waste of good gun powder and that they would gather all the spare gunpowder together and give it to a fireworks manufacturer so they could have the greatest fireworks display in history; that North and South Korea would jointly announce that the conflict between them had all been a very funny practical joke and that they had pranked the world, That Hamas, Hezbollah, the Israelis, and the Palestinians had all joined hand and were singing Kumbaya; and that Congress had finally decided to work together.
There were no news stories about this.

There is only ONE possible explanation:
The military industrial complex, all the generals, all the networks, the Departments of Defense, State, and Homeland Security, The big Banks, The annoying people who come on late night informercials and announce miracle cures,big pharma and big oil, had met last night late at the White House. They conspired to keep the news from us because all of them would lose money if we knew that there were no longer any wars. All except the people who make late night informercials who were only there because the like annoying people.
Can anyone disagree??

[oak]

[chunkyfrog]

I find that using cpap makes me more agreeable,
but there is evidence it had no such effect on Osama bin Lawless.

[Iowamv]

Rest assured [pun intended] that because of your CPAP efforts my son DID put the dishes away this morning, a gentle breeze started up right at dawn, and my shoes are fitting just a tad better this morning.

So, from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU. I sincerely hope you continue your efforts.