Torquemada DME Program

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 9:56 am

The Torquemada Technical Academy has a long heritage in the field of mask fitting and we proudly offer a home computer training program specifically geared towards CPAP Durable Medical Equipment (DME) Providers. This is your opportunity to learn the skills associated with an exciting high growth health field that is literally blowing up. We will teach everything you need to know about hosing up people for fun and profit. The following are a description of our Spring Offerings:

Equipment Valuation (EV) – Modeled from our highly successful “Used Car Sales Program”, this 10 week course will teach you what equipment to sell and how to maximize your bottom line. You will learn why vintage not so state of the art interfaces have the highest profit margins. Effective use of patient ignorance to generate those high dollar sales. This course is enhanced by Industry participation where experts will identify what masks in their overstocked inventories garner the best returns. In this course you will be provided all the reasons your patients should avoid Online DMEs and how APAP equipment will degrade their therapy. In the legal segment you will be given all the necessary references to show how self titration is a criminal offense. A special bonus chapter is included for E-Bay auctioning of clinician’s manuals.

Interface Lashing (IL) – During this 6 week course you will learn all the ins and outs of head gears. The history of the mask will show you the evolution from hot rivets to today’s modern restraints. You will learn how too adjust interfaces in a non-sleep environment to give patients the impression that they might actually retain their seals during actual use. Special attention is paid to the advantages of repeat fittings and how to generate additional sales in add on accessories as well as new interfaces.

While most are highly successful being EV IL DMEs there has been a lukewarm demand for additional training. So the following optional course is also available:

Patient Comfort and Latest Mask Innovations – This 1 hour course covers smiling while tightening interfaces and how to control laughter when a patient tries to return a mask. A full ten minutes is devoted to the latest technology using promotional brochures and video.

With your $5,000 registration fee, (only 3 CPAP sales), you will be provided a Radio Shack TRS 80 computer with a dial up modem to open your gateway to learning. So hook yourself up to the information highway and start on your future.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:14 pm

Do I get a discount if I already have a Commodore 64 computer and remember how to program in BASIC? Look out Derek!!!!

Can I send a "proxy" to class and still receive a diploma in the mail? Oh, this is a home study course never mind.

Can I have Home Study Parties and sign up others to increase my profit margin?

Enough with the questions, the check is in the mail can't pass up this once in a life time opportunity. Oh, I want CHARTER MEMBER listed on my diploma in big gold letters too.

MartiniLover · Post by **MartiniLover** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 2:16 pm

I might consider it, IF.................. we're going to have a prom at the end of class.

SLEEPYCD · Post by **SLEEPYCD** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 2:38 pm

Mike,
I noticed that my Evil DME had a diploma from Torguemada Technical Academy on his wall when I visited him last!!!! I remember because after not listening to me or answering my questions, I thought the diploma would look very nice broken to pieces over his head!!!!! I didn't say that, did I???
Carolyn

mikemoran · Post by **mikemoran** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 2:42 pm

MartiniLover wrote:I might consider it, IF.................. we're going to have a prom at the end of class.

Yes feel free to bring your virtual significant other LOL

kikisue · Post by **kikisue** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:32 pm

HAHAHAHAHA!!

You had me going right from "Torquemada Technical Academy"!!!

Thanks - I needed the laughs today!

cvansant · Post by **cvansant** » Thu Dec 15, 2005 12:25 am

MartiniLover,

Off subject, I know. Just couldn't help posting.

I hope you are a classic martini lover. Gin and vermouth (and I do mean more than having a bottle somewhere in the house with the cap off) with 2 olives, either up or on the rocks.

Have a happy.
Clif

Mask

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