OT: Joke

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Goofproof
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OT: Joke

Post by Goofproof » Sat Apr 14, 2018 10:03 pm

A cowboy named Billy was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in eastern Oregon when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

Billy looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ...Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Billy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then Billy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Billy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog. :!: Jim

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RiverDave
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Re: OT: Joke

Post by RiverDave » Sat Apr 14, 2018 10:07 pm

Ha!

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MamaGord
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Re: OT: Joke

Post by MamaGord » Sun Apr 15, 2018 12:03 am

Nice
Emily ~ happily married mom to 4
Using CPAP since 3.21.18 pressure 9-15

HoseCrusher
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Re: OT: Joke

Post by HoseCrusher » Sun Apr 15, 2018 1:18 pm

Good joke, however...

I would have been more impressed if the Congressman was able to count the number of turds in the pasture and correlate them to the current weather conditions.

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Goofproof
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Re: OT: Joke

Post by Goofproof » Sun Apr 15, 2018 1:28 pm

HoseCrusher wrote:
Sun Apr 15, 2018 1:18 pm
Good joke, however...

I would have been more impressed if the Congressman was able to count the number of turds in the pasture and correlate them to the current weather conditions.
Counting the "Turds" on the House and Senate Floor, should be used as a vetting test for all New Members of Congress. We all know the Old Members would fail. Lucky for them they are Grandfathered in.

If you see a Congressman, hide your Dog! Jim

_________________
Mask: ComfortGel Original Nasal CPAP Mask with Headgear
Additional Comments: APAP @15 CM & CMS 50E PULSE OX O2 3L
Use data to optimize your xPAP treatment:
how to see your data https://sleep.tnet.com/resources/sleepyhead
how to present your data https://sleep.tnet.com/resources/sleepyhead/shorganize
how to post your data https://sleep.tnet.com/reference/tips/imgur

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Captain_Midnight
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Re: OT: Joke

Post by Captain_Midnight » Sun Apr 15, 2018 9:07 pm

Now give me back my dog.
Thanks muchly for the chuckle!

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