Creative Members: Help Me

DreamStalker · Post by **DreamStalker** » Mon May 07, 2007 5:10 pm

rooster wrote:I laughed so hard a half dozen just slipped out.

Gives a whole new meaning to pews.

More like gives a whole new meaning to "CPAP TALK"

pedroski · Post by **pedroski** » Mon May 07, 2007 5:25 pm

Talking about pews - Oh pew!!

If all else fails, you might have to resort to damage control.

Peter

sleepycarol · Post by **sleepycarol** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 2:06 pm

For those that might have missed this the first go around -- an encore of sorts!!

Go ahead and have a good laugh -- but I think we can all relate to this thread!!

Isn't life great!!

Snoredog · Post by **Snoredog** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 3:10 pm

Howard Stern once had a name for it...

FART MAN!!!

Get ya one of those Wonder Woman suits, cut the butt out of it, a rope and start swinging..

alv7722 · Post by **alv7722** » Thu Dec 13, 2007 1:27 am

Is it just dry flatulance, or is it accompanied by anal leakage? I wouldn't tell them about the anal leakage if I were you. Kind of "more than they need to know".

Al V

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Dec 13, 2007 7:45 am

Whether or not you use cpap, it's a fact for most men:

"As I got older,
My dreams turned dry
and my farts turned wet." *

roster · Post by **roster** » Thu Dec 13, 2007 8:38 pm

Half Time
An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'

His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'It's fart football.'

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says 'Touchdown, tie score.' After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.' Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.'

Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed. The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'

The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides."

krousseau · Post by **krousseau** » Fri Dec 14, 2007 3:15 pm

Long ago I worked with another young nurse-we used to joke we did want to become "old farts". Alas, she got her wish with the help of breast cancer. I on the other hand am glad I have achieved that status and would never wish it otherwise. And gee it just keeps getting better with higher CPAP pressures.

Regarding the need to know---everyone knows already!!!

TXKajun · Post by **TXKajun** » Fri Dec 14, 2007 3:38 pm

Young guy finally goes over to his fiancee's for dinner one night. The family is very prim and proper. As the dinner is served, he has to let one slip, so he does......he thought it would be quiet, but nope. The stern father looked over in the corner by the young guy and says to the dog laying in the corner "Spot, get outta here!"

Well, the young guy thinks he's got it made now. They will just be blamed on the dog! So, a little later, he lets another one rip. Same reaction from the stern father....."Spot! Get outta here!"

Well, just about the time dessert is served, the young man lets a truly awesome one rip. The stern father stands up, looks at the dog and yells "Spot! Get outta here.....before this guy cr@ps all over you!!"

Kajun (my one fart joke)