Keeping Our Wonderful Forum a Great Place to Be

[dsm]

Rooster had an interesting observation over there in the locked thread:

Some of you have too high expectations for sleep-deprived people. Get over it.

There is no excuse why courtesy, respect and civility would not be the minimum behavior expected from anybody, regardless. My "real" job includes work in Intensive Care Units and Hospice, and people who are DYING aren't this mean. No, you can't justify this nastiness using any kind of smokescreen claiming you are "sleep-deprived", or have "rights to freedom of speech" or are making a statement against "censorship". These comments are just angry, pointless rantings.

The thing about many sleep disorders that people often overlook (or maybe they don't) is that besides being sleep-deprived (yeah, it's about THEM, remember?), they can also be depressed and scared, and the atmosphere generated by the hatred discourages these people from posting, yea, even coming to visit and read posts. This has already been demonstrated on numerous occasions.

I maintain that if you want to have a "Sleep Help Forum", then great. If you want to have something that has nothing whatsoever to do with that, call Dr. Laura.

CollegeGirl is more than capable of defending herself and doesn't need me in the least. However, dredging up an old thread, particularly this one, to launch personal attacks has nothing to do with "Freedom of Speech", it is now simply an act of terrorism designed to destroy the integrity of the board. The venom has been expunged.
SAG

SAG,

If you just did what I think you may have (crap zap) I admire your guts in doing so. It had no place here.

My contribution during this odd dark phase here is to find people asking for help and offering what I can to them, even if a minor contribution. Can't think of any other way to move us forward.

But am also willing to support a decent stand.

D

Perhaps

[WillSucceed]

CollegeGirl, you hold yourself up as some holier-than-thou icon of civility and good behaviour yet you deliver your condescending little shots and digs over and over again. You say nasty things about folk and expect them to just be ok with it because it came from you --the holier-than-thou one.

When you blither on saying nasty things, and then pitch your patented hissy-fit when you are challenged by the people you diss, you should expect that they will bite back at you. Your whinging that the thread was old makes no difference... you still shot your mouth off and, are accountable for it. You don't like that I responded to your comments when I came across the thread? Too bad. I guess you should have thought about that BEFORE you went all wacky with your crying-the-blues when YOU started this thread by complaining that I had disagreed with your statements about C-FLEX. And by the way, you seem to love to pull in the "I and others" crap... have you noticed, in the thread, that "others" also commented that they saw nothing wrong with my comment about disagreeing with you regarding C-FLEX and that they thought you were over-reacting? I suspect you conveniently missed those comments.

Grow up little girl. If you are going to take pot shots at folk, you can expect that they will respond. If this does not fit into your little fantasy life, too bad. You mentioned that you are off looking for jobs now that school is done -should be an interesting ride. Better buckle up your seat-belt because if you behave in the work world with the tactics that you show here, it is likely to be a bumpy ride.

CollegeGirl wrote:

I'm done with you. You can say whatever you want about me now - you don't deserve my acknowledgement, and you will never receive it again.

And there would be the patented hissy-fit again. I'd say there is pretty much zero chance of holding true to your word. I can only hope and pray that you will.

[DreamStalker]

CollegeGirl, you ... holier blaa blaa blaa ... condescending over-reacting blither on and on and on fantasy .... more wacky whining biting blaa blaa blaa ........ and then, more hissy crying nasty blaa blaa blaa .... and with a final prayer, still one more hissy-fit.

Dude! You need some anger/stress management help.

What is your point besides that you can't get along? ... a point you have made over and over and over ... It's bad for your health in the long run but I know I know ... "we don't care about your health". Take a chill pill anyways and Succeed in giving us a break Will 'ya?

[WillSucceed]

Dude! You seem happy to listen to CollegeGirl blithering, but I'm to be silent. I don't think so.

And, since you have mentioned it, I feel neither anger nor stress. I just don't suffer fools gladly and I won't take a bashing lightly. If CG can hold true to her word, this WOULD have ended with my last post. Perhaps you should have kept your oar out of the water.

[DreamStalker]

Dude! You seem happy to listen to CollegeGirl blithering, but I'm to be silent. I don't think so.

And, since you have mentioned it, I feel neither anger nor stress. I just don't suffer fools gladly and I won't take a bashing lightly. If CG can hold true to her word, this WOULD have ended with my last post. Perhaps you should have kept your oar out of the water.

Uhh Huh.

The post was dead for like two months and you resurrected it.

No agner or stress, just obsessed with having the last word/post ... whatever!

[cwsanfor]

Ted,

Thanks for locking that other thread. Mind locking this one too? Nothing productive going on here, IMHO.

[dsm]

Ted,

Thanks for locking that other thread. Mind locking this one too? Nothing productive going on here, IMHO.

Seconded (any thirds ?)

D[/u]

[gasp]

I'm a newbie - eight days on the hose. I think this forum is fantastic and it has really helped me learn about OSA and xPAP. It has also given me a tremendous emotional boost as I adjust to a new sleeping lifestyle to know that there are so many knowledgeable, wise, compassionate, generous and well-spoken folks in the same or similar boat as myself working together and supporting each other. Thank you.

Ditto, except that I have -2 days on the hose. I get my equipment FINALLY on Thursday. Yeah!

So, I am not discouraged or dissuaded by the posts that have caused so much concern. In any community of this size there is going to be disagreement and sometimes the discourse may veer from the accurate, productive, or even mature.

That's OK, I'm a grown up and can sift through the dross to find the gems. I also know that is my responsibility to independently evaluate (perhaps with the help of my doctor) the advice, facts, and opinions offered about how to treat a medical condition.

I too sift through posts to find the gems - keeping in mind one person's gem is another person's average rock on the beach. And I have found many, many gems : )

From what I have read over the last three weeks, the ratio of folks behaving well far outweighs the opposite so I don't think you need a moderator to keep the newbies from being scared. I personally prefer a discussion policed only by the participants.

I'm a newbie too, and I'm not scared away from this amazingly valuable forum. It's actually refreshing to see that humanity thrives in a open forum.

That's my two-cents (which is way more than I have earned in three weeks of lurking and now a single post).

Welcome! And, thank you for posting so that I could ditto it, saving me much valuable time with which to use sifting for gems : )

[John_M]

Everyone please gather, I am stepping up to my pulpit.

One of the ideas I have come across is called "Principles not Personalities".

If on this form, we could restrain ourselves from mentioning any one else , directly or indirectly, but just concentrate on the sleep apnea ideas expressed, I think we would have a far more comfortable environment. (except for maybe saying thank you to individuals). If we refrained from calling ideas "stupid" but just offered alternatives with supporting evidence, it might be calmer.

If we just talked about our experiences, (which is the only thing which is really true) and kinda kept away from opinions (of which we all have many) and kept away from unsolicited advice, it might be nicer.

If we followed the idea "publish not the faults of others", things might be calmer. We all have faults, one of my faults is a tendency to preach!

If we saw a thread that was full of flaming and just ignored it, rather than stepping in and adding some more fuel to the fire, fires will disappear sooner.

What horrifies me is that what I see amongst a group of people trying to help each other with sleep apnea, is the generation of a small scale war. Its exactly the same process that happens in bigger wars.

Do we really want to do this?
Do I want to attack some-one for attacking some-one else?
Its the same game.

I don't want to do this or be part of this kind of stuff.
Maybe the best move for me is to stop reading these flame wars and getting upset and writing more posts about flame wars

John M
Coming up with a solution for himself.
Hopefully others will do this too,

[Snoredog]

Ted,

Thanks for locking that other thread. Mind locking this one too? Nothing productive going on here, IMHO.

Seconded (any thirds ?)

D[/u]

Good IDEA Wally!

and even coming from you dsm, I'll Third that one. so consider it

Thirded


One thing I want to point out after reading these 8 pages of feces, not saying
or directing anything to any "one" but just realize:

1. Ole Snoredog wasn't the cause of, or included in any of this discussion and most of you still ended up fighting amongst yourselves with no encouragement needed by me.

2. You can present the appearances here as being all nice, polite and proper, use your fancy dancy words, but you know what if you read back through these 8 pages before this message, deep down underneath "YOU" (and you know who you are) are just a bunch of hypocrites!

I find this all quite amusing

some people just love to re-engage old threads just to start up a new pissing contest. That feature of this forum should seriously be looked at. If threads got locked automatically once they reached a certain size or age, you wouldn't have threads like this coming back 2 months or 2 years later, hell the spammers may even get bored and go away. Locking a thread doesn't stop it from being unavailable, you can still Search for it.

I'm sorry, I'm not going to attempt to read a thread containing 500+ contributions to it, it just ain't worth it.

[StillAnotherGuest]

We all have faults, one of my faults is a tendency to preach!

Yeah, I know you mean there, John. For example, one of my faults is to simply wipe that smut off the face of the earth. See how much smoother the thread flows now?

Speaking of flow, the new VPAP Malibu is really something. In VSet Mode, it seems to incorporate the EPR concept (which as you may recall, continues to the point of the following inspiration) together with Pressure Support, so the therapeutic pressure becomes essentially "virtual". Gotta find that patent, it doesn't seem to use the A10 concept.
SAG

[WillSucceed]

Thanks for locking that other thread. Mind locking this one too?

Great idea! I'd say go for it.

[tangents]

And Please take it off the Collective Wisdom lightbulb. It's an embarrassment to us all. Just my opinion.

[Snoredog]

And Please take it off the Collective Wisdom lightbulb. It's an embarrassment to us all. Just my opinion.

If I was any good with graphics, I'd make it look like the space shuttle!

[dsm]

Snoredog,

(DSM in conversational mode)

There are many challenges to the health of a forum like this.

One type of challenge in any forum faces is when emotion & logic collide. It doesn't have to be anyone's fault but it happens.

If any of *us* make the fundamental mistake of 'playing the person rather than the ball' (sporting analogy) then that thread can slide downhill faster than an avalanche. Restated, if in our dialog, We start attacking attributes / characteristics of a person rather than sticking to the points they have made, or at least asking for clarification before making an angered response, that thread is as good as destroyed.

I believe many of us have to fight the urge to do this.

WillS could have PM'd CollegeGirl, or he could have asked her to explain what she meant by a remark she made, he could also just decide to dump on her.

There is though a fundamental truth about what gets said here & we can't escape from it - it is ...
'it is rarely what others say about us here that make us look bad, it is what we ourselves say in reply that is more likely to achieve it.'

That has happened a lot of late & reflects a slide in our collective well being.

So one point I might make is, I would really like the opportunity to meet a number of the folks here in person because I know there are so many talented, clever & smart people who in balance have the best of intentions. This applies to you to Will Succeed etc: etc:

Often our egos get in the way of us exercising our good intentions. Despite any past acrimony involving you & myself, I am never in doubt of your good points & your knowledge in particular areas.

The only enemies any of us really have here are oursleves at particular times.

Cheers

DSM