Keeping Our Wonderful Forum a Great Place to Be

Snoredog · Post by **Snoredog** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 7:20 pm

you really don't want to get me on the subject of PM's dsm, but I generally don't answer or respond to any I receive.

I feel no one really learns anything if everything is done via PM's. I feel if it can't be said here in the public forum, it shouldn't be said at all.

dsm · Post by **dsm** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 7:34 pm

Snoredog wrote:you really don't want to get me on the subject of PM's dsm, but I generally don't answer or respond to any I receive.

I feel no one really learns anything if everything is done via PM's. I feel if it can't be said here in the public forum, it shouldn't be said at all.

Snoredog,

I can understand that POV - *but* if the public content involves a disagreement and friction that could (can) be worked through between two people without other well intentioned folk butting in & creating an avalanche then PMs should be used.

The problem in trying to resolve personal issues in public is they are no longer personal issues & invite participation as well as triggering others hot buttons, often quite inappropriately.

There is also the likelihood of people using gang tactics to 'beat up' someone who offends them. That rarely achieves any good.

My point is that not all disagreements can be resolved publicly.

Hmmm, what we need is a rumpus room (not open to view) - when 2 or more people want to fight, direct them & all their future posts into a rumpus room & they get to stay there (only post there) until they all agree they have resolved the issue - I'll bet many disputes would actually get resolved and much more quickly

But these just some fanciful musings .....

DSM

Snoredog · Post by **Snoredog** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 8:56 pm

if you lent someone $20 bucks and never seen them again...

you could consider that money well spent.

To submit your contributions towards my cause, you can make those contributions to:
https://www.cancer.org/docroot/don/don_ ... m=hpbutton

christinequilts · Post by **christinequilts** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 9:32 pm

Snoredog wrote: some people just love to re-engage old threads just to start up a new pissing contest. That feature of this forum should seriously be looked at. If threads got locked automatically once they reached a certain size or age

Some topics need to be revisited when over time and other need more room to grow then others. Having a size limited would stifle good debates, not prevent the name calling and other meanness that has become more and more prevalent on this board.

...gee, if I want to kill a thread, I'll just keep posting to it until it hits it limit and then no one else have the last word...

WillSucceed · Post by **WillSucceed** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 9:48 pm

dsm wrote:

Hmmm, what we need is a rumpus room (not open to view) - when 2 or more people want to fight, direct them & all their future posts into a rumpus room & they get to stay there (only post there) until they all agree they have resolved the issue - I'll bet many disputes would actually get resolved and much more quickly

Now that is an interesting idea; good on you for coming up with it. I could see this working in those situations where disagreement starts private and stays private. However, when it starts in public, a public reply is, in my opinion, required. Sure, taking the high road is the more mature thing but, how many of us ALWAYS manage to take the high road?

dsm · Post by **dsm** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 10:10 pm

WillSucceed wrote:dsm wrote:
Hmmm, what we need is a rumpus room (not open to view) - when 2 or more people want to fight, direct them & all their future posts into a rumpus room & they get to stay there (only post there) until they all agree they have resolved the issue - I'll bet many disputes would actually get resolved and much more quickly
Now that is an interesting idea; good on you for coming up with it. I could see this working in those situations where disagreement starts private and stays private. However, when it starts in public, a public reply is, in my opinion, required. Sure, taking the high road is the more mature thing but, how many of us ALWAYS manage to take the high road?

Will,

The problem with the idea is how to enforce it & who gets to decide. That issue alone takes us full circle back to other past debates such as to moderate or not moderate.

Having raised the point though, I am certain that many situations of us getting offside with each other can really be best resolved away from public glare. PM is a very useful tool. For example I have recently had several PMs with Blarg (hope you don't mind me mentioning this Blarg) as I had issues with some posts he made & he with some posts I had made. After a few PMs I came away with a renewed respect for him and a particular matter that could have become a useless public disagreement went away. In fact, that interaction was an inspiration to me as to how some types of matters can be very effectively dealt with away from the public glare.

But, Mike Moran says it all when he comments (in humor) on how he draws up his armchair just to sit and observe the fight threads because he says he is being human and admitting to his voyeuristic streak - many others go one better & join in the fray - often without a clear picture of the sequence & origins & then any likelihood of a calm discussion & debate evaporates in an explosion of emotional frustration - so often with no resolution. A foundation for the next 'payback' type explosion.

It seems to me that the safest approach here is to assume that others want to be supportive and positive & are usually willing to discuss matters out of the public glare. Snoredog has made it plain that he sees no value in PMs & this is a point I would like ti discuss further with him (if he is willing to respond). It is not a POV I subscribe to nor can I understand it. It comes across to me as a hit and run approach to conflict.

DSM

rested gal · Post by **rested gal** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 10:15 pm

christinequilts wrote:Some topics need to be revisited when over time and other need more room to grow then others. Having a size limited would stifle good debates, not prevent the name calling and other meanness that has become more and more prevalent on this board.

...gee, if I want to kill a thread, I'll just keep posting to it until it hits it limit and then no one else have the last word...

LOL..yep, that would be one way.

I agree that some topics need room to grow.

I don't think topics should be locked.

I don't think members should delete others' posts.

The SPAM button was put in place by the administrators of the board for one reason and one reason only -- to let members help get rid of blatant spam when it appears. It was not put there for members to zap other members' posts.

Back in the now locked thread that started this slippery slope of post-zapping --
viewtopic.php?t=20708
I agree with the thoughts expressed by: neversleeps, Wulfman (Den), WillSucceed, Dreamstalker, Vader, and tkuentz.

WillSucceed · Post by **WillSucceed** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 10:27 pm

Thanks, RG for putting in the link to the other thread. Just wish I knew how to do this so that I could have done it in the thread that I started about deleted posts.

Please feel free to put a link in that thread for me, if you would be so kind. Thanks!

GuestForADay · Post by **GuestForADay** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 11:31 pm

Comments to the universe that we live in: You can close the bar, but some of the regulars will stand outside on the street and continue to rumble. The “Not such a good night” could turn into a Not-such-a-good-thread. Lolapalooza! Is any of this a consequence of mass-sleep-depravation?

cwsanfor · Post by **cwsanfor** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 6:00 am

As much as I hate to disagree with RG, this thread has to do with forum administration, not apnea, and because it is probably alarming to newbies, and generally unproductive, should either be (1) put in a separate forum called Forum Administration (about which few really care), or (2) locked, deleted en masse, or otherwise nuked.

Free Speech does not include the right to yell "Fire!" in a crowded theatre, and realistically, there needs to be some way of dealing with OT or unproductive posts on any BBS. I've administered more than one.

Healthy discourse, no problem. Arguments, disagreements, okay. Ad hominen attacks, not so much. Spam is not the only threat to a BBS.

DreamStalker · Post by **DreamStalker** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 6:31 am

cwsanfor wrote:As much as I hate to disagree with RG, this thread has to do with forum administration, not apnea, and because it is probably alarming to newbies, and generally unproductive, should either be (1) put in a separate forum called Forum Administration (about which few really care), or (2) locked, deleted en masse, or otherwise nuked.

Free Speech does not include the right to yell "Fire!" in a crowded theatre, and realistically, there needs to be some way of dealing with OT or unproductive posts on any BBS. I've administered more than one.

Healthy discourse, no problem. Arguments, disagreements, okay. Ad hominen attacks, not so much. Spam is not the only threat to a BBS.

No one yelled "Fire!" in a crowded theatre in this forum ... well, no one yelled fire anyway .

Nevertheless, as much as I disagreed with Will's comments, I don't think it was right for whom ever deleted his posts just because they too did not like what was said in them. Realism should always trump idealism cuz that's just the way things are .

Vader · Post by **Vader** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 9:57 am

DreamStalker wrote:
I don't think it was right for whom ever deleted his posts just because they too did not like what was said in them. Realism should always trump idealism cuz that's just the way things are .

Well said Roberto.

Angry replies, trading of insults, childish behavior, etc. may be considered boorish, but are far from what could be called "hate messages", so there is absolutely no good reason for someone deleting another member's posts.
I strongly believe that those who attempt to do so should be permanently barred from this forum.

blarg · Post by **blarg** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 4:51 pm

Vader wrote:I strongly believe that those who attempt to do so should be permanently barred from this forum.

Well, personally I don't agree with random deletion of posts. Everyone should know what has happened in a public forum, but the positive thing I see about this situation is now the issue is finally getting pushed to a whole new level. So, we'll see soon enough what is to be done about all this, one way or another.

m1k2s3 · Post by **m1k2s3** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 5:44 pm

Does everyone remember the Disney movie Bambi? Well I think Thumper said it best - "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all"

I consider myself extremely fortunate to have found this website. I was looking for information and support and I found both right here. Most times I find interesting and supportive posts but the odd time, I've come across a post that is demeaning and unsupportive. With these, I make a mental note NOT to read their posts again and move on.

I agree, everyone is entitled to their opinion - but personal attacks are never justified.

Wolfmarsh · Post by **Wolfmarsh** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 7:33 pm

On a completely unrelated, lighter side note....

This chick is toast!

Maybe we just need some humor

Humidifier

Additional Comments: My machine is a ResMed S9 Elite - Pressure is 11

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