Please tell me this is normal!

[elmo42]

I used to love to sleep. It's only been 2 weeks on CPAP but now I dread night time. I start getting anxious about getting hooked to the machine and I can't go to sleep. Did anyone else go through this?? I am starting to feel really depressed about my life on CPAP. I know the health issues are not good either but how do I get over this???

[jedimark]

After a while you will learn to love it, because you will start chasing those good days. Monitoring your nightly stats if you can helps greatly.

You may need the doc to give you some sleep meds to help the transition so you can relax.. I definitely needed them the first 2 weeks. I personally found it helpful stagger the heavy ones the doctor gave me with a few nights just using OTC solutions/valerian/nothing.

Now I sleep fine without drugs.. I still feel like crap from my other health problems, but now my apneas are under control after 1 and 1/2 months.

[mbmonkey1971]

I thought it was bad that that I had no shoes until i saw a man with no feet. There is always someone worse off than we are if we look long enough.... I hope you get some relief and get through this very soon....I have had those feelings of dread as well when I laid down with the cpap, so I feel your pain, as Clinton would say....lol

[Starlette]

As others have suggested about trying something new, I'll suggest the same to you.
NOTE: I had to do the same thing trying to sleep with a pillow mask for the first time. Now I can
The key here is to desensitize your anxiety, which is normal. Honestly, the whole world of cpap is very much a lifestyle change, but you 'll get used to it in time. Take your cpap in the living room and watch a some tv with it, listen to music, do things that are relaxing. You can worry about the data collecting later. It just takes some time to get used. You've got plenty of cool folks here to cheer you on during this transition.

Starlette

[robysue]

It's only been 2 weeks on CPAP but now I dread night time. I start getting anxious about getting hooked to the machine and I can't go to sleep. Did anyone else go through this?? I am starting to feel really depressed about my life on CPAP. I know the health issues are not good either but how do I get over this???

I'm six and a half months into therapy. Your post reminds me of a (very long) post that I wrote while staying up trying to get sleeping for my fourth night of CPAP: I already loathed the machine by that point and in retrospect, it is clear that a nasty case of CPAP-induced insomnia had already started to settle into my bedroom.

But for six and a half months, I have masked up every single night and "slept" with the mask for the full night regardless of whether I actually got any sleep.

And six and a half months later: I no longer loathe bedtime. I am still fighting (but now largely winning) a very slow non-drug based, behavior modification war on the CPAP-induced insomnia. On most nights I no longer dread bedtime the way I did for the first three to four months of being on the hose. I still am worried about "being addicted to the hose" even though I know such a thing is irrational. I still have to work my way through anger (at my doctor, at the apnea, at my insurance company, at my apnea, at my BiPAP machine, at my apnean ...), but slowly the anger is beginning to ebb somewhat. I think there is a grieving process that some of us must work our way through.

As for other health issues, for me: There are no other health issues---I have none of the comorbidities of OSA nor do I have any other health issues. I have managed to keep masking up every single night mainly because I'm stubborn and I refuse to let the OSA win---I do not want to develop any of the comorbidities of OSA and several run in my family. And finally after six and a half months, I now usually feel about as well as I did before starting CPAP instead of feeling much worse and on some days I even feel better in the sense of aches and pains.

My advice such as it is:

Stick with CPAP by focusing on one night at a time instead of focusing on the "forever" aspect of the diagnosis: Make the decision to mask up just for tonight each and every night when you go to bed. Worry about tomorrow night and the night after tomorrow night and the night after that and all the other future nights when they get here. Making the decision just for tonight takes a bit of the sting out of the "forever" part of the diagnosis.

Treat the insomnia seriously. If it starts to interfere with your daily function or gets worse, don't assume that it will get better on it's own. I've written many long winded posts about CPAP-induced insomnia. If you need help fighting your insomnia, feel free to PM me or start another thread with the words "Can't sleep" in the subject line.

Treat your emotional reaction and your current sense of depression seriously. Give yourself some permission to mourn your old life if need be. But if you begin to feel that the depression is getting out of control, make sure you get the appropriate help for that as well.

Best of luck in this dark time. It will get better. Perhaps you'll be lucky enough for the light to come back quickly into your life. But it will come back eventually if you just keep on working on making this therapy work for you.

[DennisG]

Your experience sounds like my experience. When my wife got sick of my snoring, she pestered me until I finally talked to my doctor about the snoring. He asked me a bunch of questions including how i slept. I remember telling him that I slept great. Based on the other questions about napping, afternoon sleepiness, etc. he decided to send me to a sleep specialist for a sleep study. Sure enough, I was diagnosed with severe OSA.

My CPAP adventure did not start out very well with a lousy DME and a sleep doctor that took months to get an appointment. I struggled for 9 months before I found this site. I did a lot of reading, learning and took control of my treatment with the software, tried different masks and settings on my machine. Once I took control, things got better pretty quickly. I still have some bad days, but when I do something stupid like falling asleep reading and sleep half of the night without my machine, I really notice the difference the next day.

Good thing you found this site early. Read, learn, ask and take control. Things will get better.

Dennis

[Lizistired]

Nope, I learned to love sleeping again. If I felt tired during the day, I would dawn my mask for a nap. That only lasted about the first 2 weeks before I settled into a comfortable routine and started sleeping longer. Of course I still obsess about the data... but that just reaffirms the machine is helping.
If you have the software and/or an oximeter and see what happens to your body and mind while you are sleeping it might be easier to adapt to. For example, I know my oxygen level drops within 3 minutes of me taking my mask off during sleep. OK, that's enough for me, I'm going to wear it and feel good about it. I'm a happy hosehead. That doesn't mean I wouldn't like to someday be free of it, but until then, it's my friend. Give it some time, read and ask questions. It'll work out.

[idamtnboy]

I start getting anxious about getting hooked to the machine and I can't go to sleep. Did anyone else go through this?? I am starting to feel really depressed about my life on CPAP. I know the health issues are not good either but how do I get over this???

My take - yes, you are reacting normally, in your own fashion. You will get past it, but it will take time. To understand more fully why I say this check out this thread. It's one of the 'stickies.'

viewtopic/t61785/Especially-for-newly-d ... hange.html

[jimnsc]

I just wonder if your anxiety is due to a lack of success, either with your equipment or reaching the objective on your AH, or is it due to the fact you have a mess on your face you weren't plagued with before CPAP? My first two weeks were a miserable experience. I just completed my 19th night's treatment last night, had a record low AHI for me, and an outstanding leak rate. This accompanied by 7.8 hours sleep made for a much appreciated experience. I don't love wearing a full face mask all night but after trying several I got one that suits me to a tee. I have resigned myself to the fact that this is my new way of life and I'm determined to make the most of it because the only heart I have is at risk if I discontinue my treatment. Set yourself some kind of goal. If you aim at nothing you'll hit it every time!

Good luck to you - and - ain't it nice to associate with the helpful, knowledgeable folks in this forum. They got me through my first two weeks of misery and I'm thankful to all who have helped me through that.

[TalonNYC]

Indeed, this is very normal. I lucked out, as I have to wear a wrist brace every night for carpal tunnel. Because of that, "putting something on" before bed became part of a normal ritual for me, so when I added the CPAP machine, I got used to it quickly. Even so, the first couple of nights were rough, because you're connected to the night table suddenly =)

During the day, when you are fully awake and aware, lay down for about 10 minutes with the mask on and turn on the air flow. Turn on a radio or the TV if that helps you. Don't go to sleep, and don't do this often if you have any form of insomnia, but try it for a few days. By putting the mask on in a safe environment, you let your body see that it's not a "fight or flight" emergency, that it won't hurt you, and that you can accept it. That worked for me in the past.

Be sure to turn as you would while sleeping, try different positions. The idea here is to get your brain to list the CPAP mask as "safe" and therefore not go into panic mode when you put it on. This won't happen instantly, but it will happen. You can re-write the conditioned response to the object (the mask) by introducing it in an non-threatening environment (you're wide awake and calm).

Hope it helps.

[elmo42]

Thanks everyone for you encouraging words. I am very glad I found this forum, don't think I will ever feel alone.

I will definitely try putting the mask on and just chillin' around the house. Maybe if I'm lucky my hubby will toss the elephant some peanuts!

[archangle]

Remember that it's a medical treatment, not a religion.

Yes, you should use CPAP every time you sleep. However, if you decide you can't stand it and go without one night, you don't get excommunicated by the CPOPE and become forever damned.

If you use or try to use your new CPAP machine on Monday through Thursday, and decide you simply can't use it on Friday, and again on Saturday and Sunday, that doesn't excuse you. You need it the next Monday as much as you did on the previous Monday. Try again. You're doing your body as much damage then as you were before you got the machine. Work at it. Work with your provider. Do your own research and tinkering rather than giving up forever.

If nothing else, put it on, try to wear it for a while when you go to sleep. If you can't stand it any more, take it off and try again the next night. If you wake up in the middle of the night, put it on then while you're halfway through a night's sleep. Maybe drink a lot of water before bed to be sure you have to wake up. Keep trying to use it for longer and longer periods of time. This may not be "good" advice, but it's probably a lot better than giving up entirely.

I also like the idea of using the equipment while watching TV, reading, etc. to get used to it.

[TalonNYC]

Wait, it's not a religion? What, with all the robes and stuff?

[idamtnboy]

Remember that it's a medical treatment, not a religion.

Are you excusing us from religiously following the treatment regimen?? [I couldn't resist!! ]

[archangle]

Remember that it's a medical treatment, not a religion.

Are you excusing us from religiously following the treatment regimen?? [I couldn't resist!! ]

Well, you can end up extra time in purgatory (or h3!!) if you don't follow the rituals.

Requiem en cpap.