Way to go - APOLOGY ALSO

[Lucyhere]

Pugsy - I wanted to PM you and not have this in the thread but I see you have blocked PMs right now. I wish, too, that you had not identified our self as the one Madalot was speaking about. I do not believe this thread would exist, if it was anyone but you. People be talking about changing, if it were anyone but you. A lot of this thread is about getting you to come back. It is not about the forum becoming more civil. That, to me, is a shame. I am not speaking against and all you have done for a lot of people on this forum, including myself, but I am nagged by the fact that many would only consider changing, to keep you here.

Hawthorne... with all due respect... I can assure you that this thread is not about keeping Pugsy here. It's much, much more than that and you would have to go back at least a year to read all the posts/people involved. No need to put her in a position to defend herself.

[LSAT]

The title of this thread should be "OT...WAY TO GO YOU IDIOTS...OT"... because it sure IS!

I will predict that this thread makes it to 35 pages ...

We are well on the way Ghost....

[PoolQ]

Pugsy, it's not you, they will turn that A-hole gun at anyone and everyone. They cannot have an intelligent conversation about what they do because they have nothing to back it up with, so the attack and try to intimidate others to stop questioning them.

What to do about it on a forum is another question. Personally there are only two choices: full moderation, or what you have chosen to do. Do not join in, post what you believe to be true (without directing it at anyone in particular) and let the readers decide. If you did fight them the best you could do is call it a draw, you are right that no one is going to change them, but themselves-and they have no interest in that.

My solution for me is to foe them. I peak every now and then and have never found anything to change my mind. I still post what I want without referencing anything they have said (unless someone else has said it also). If everyone ignores what they say then I never know about it. If someone disagrees, with or without quoting, I can still put in my 2 cents again without ever reading what they posted. So far this has worked for me. You might like something like it, you can always try something and peek to see if you would have changed anything now that you know what the post was. My guess is that you would not change a thing.

You can ignore something before reading it as well as after reading it. Nice thing is that you can try things out without telling anyone and just see how it goes for a while.

Most of these people just say the same thing over and over, you can post a response without even reading what they said. As for others that sometimes post good advice, well the OP will see it, others will see it and maybe comment, maybe your 2 cents would be the same even if you never read their post. If I was going to Vegas I know where I would put my money.

You are not required to do anything with the forum.
Can you do everything that you want to do (and is possible to do) if you never see another of their posts?

Peace

PS. It just happened and I peaked, no loss what so ever.

also just like you said, this thread is not relevant for some reason, but their rants have gone on for at least this many pages. They are allowed, but no one else is. Brilliant!

[grayghost4]

[Pugsy]

Most of these people just say the same thing over and over

Yes, I know...I can almost predict what someone will say or the tone of their response just by seeing who made the post. It's rare that I find that I was wrong.

I do use the Foe button but invariably someone will reply and quote the person who I have foe'd and I only have so much self restraint... Once it's out there it's real hard for me not to look.

As for those with snarky remarks about the length of this thread ...it will die a natural death when people move on to something else just like all the other threads like this or even some humdinger pissing contests threads.
Who really cares how long it gets? Really? What difference does it make in the grand scheme of life?
Does it bother you in some way? If it does then I am so sorry but not how you might think and if you don't see that or understand it I don't know what to tell you.

I have a problem and I am trying my damnedest to get it sorted out.
If you can't be part of the solution maybe you could at least try to not be part of the problem.
Or is that simply too much to ask???

[PoolQ]

Just a thought. Perhaps something else going on in your life has just exhausted your supply of something necessary or just caused you to see things differently and this "forum thing" is just hammering it.

[Sheriff Buford]

oh... I see all the pages on this thread! The title of the thread says "you Idiots"... that's why I didn't look at it...

Sheriff

[grybeard77]

Pugsy, you have helped me numerous times and I have not told you how much I appreciate it, and I always read your posts before any thing else. Thank you for bring there when I needed it.

Can I contact you with snail mail?

Darrell

[BanjoPaterson]

Dear Pugsy

I, as one of many, will be sorry to see you depart. It's not just this forum... it seems to be a number of forums where people get the "anonymity courage" and tend to say online what they'd never say face-to-face. As someone who needs an CPAP, I see us as all being in the same predicament, and these forums help, encourage, and share knowledge. Not that we should all share the same opinion. I'm all for difference of opinion, but more in the "It's interesting what you say, because I've felt..." rather than the "YOU IDIOT ...."

I do hope you reconsider or, at least, return and visit from time to time. I, for one, have benefitted from your advice which, although I didn't post a "thank you" at the time, I should like to do so now.

Thank you and best wishes,

Stuart

[jagzoo]

+

[Hawthorne]

Lucyhere - I guess I did not say what I wanted to say very well. It was NOT my intent to put Pugsy in a position to have to defend herself. I know, and I hope Pugsy knows, that I would never do that! However, if that's how it came across to you, I apologize. Pugsy, if that is the way it came across to you, I am very sorry! I did not intend anything like that, in any way! I have the deepest respect for you and all that you have done, and may do, for this forum.

[Pugsy]

Just a thought. Perhaps something else going on in your life has just exhausted your supply of something necessary or just caused you to see things differently and this "forum thing" is just hammering it.

I have thought along this line also. Why now did that last straw get so heavy? I really can't see anything being different. Pretty much same old stuff day in and day out.
My family life is far from perfect (long story there) but it's been that way for quite some time.
The worst thing my husband does that irritates the crap out of me is repeatedly ask me how I am.
Like just now he called and 5 times he asked me if I was doing okay and I replied I am fine except the 5 th time I added "it hasn't changed in the last 5 minutes why do you keep asking".
So I guess I am getting a bit testy with him too.

I "forgot" to tell him that I snuck into town a little while ago to get something from the store.
We had sleet and freezing rain last night and some snow and while the main roads are okay now the road we live on is an ice rink still and we are supposed to get more yucky stuff tonight.

He worries about me ...isn't that something to bitch about
I also haven't told him I fell on the ice yesterday when feeding the horses.
Maybe that's why he asks all the time...he knows I wouldn't likely tell him if something was wrong because there's not anything he can do about it from 1000 miles away. Maybe he thinks if he asks often enough the answer will change.

I am not sleeping well but that started with this forum mess last weekend...so some of my nastiness this week likely is related to not sleeping well and not eating well (no appetite really) ...so I am sure that plays a part but the not sleeping well is a byproduct of the problem I have and while I am sure it isn't helping my state of mind...it's not the original problem.

I think it's just a combination of a whole bunch of stuff just finally causing me to cave and it's sort of like an avalanche....the more it rolls down the mountain the bigger it gets.

For now I am thinking that I will make a greater use of the Foe feature and maybe just privately try to diffuse potential hurt feelings when I see it happen....at least do that while I decide if I want to stay participating here in the same way I have done in the past and try to get past my gut reflex to just say "f...k 'em" which I know only hurts the people who need help and they aren't the problem anyway or maybe limit my responses to certain areas only. Haven't decided yet which way I want to go.

Can I contact you with snail mail?

Sure...you still have my address don't you? Or even email? I thought you and I had corresponded by email on occasion.

I will probably turn PMs back on ....just later when I feel up to it.

For any of you that think I have helped and think that the lack of a public or private thank you was maybe part of the problem. Rest assured...it was not. It's not needed. Actually tend to think no news is good news.

And Hawthorne...no problem...I knew what you were meaning and I didn't have my feelings hurt by it.
It was someone else who really hurt my feelings over all this mess I seem to have created.

[turbosnore]

Pugsy, I don't know what has been going on here - except what I read in this thread, but keep polling every once in a while. Things may also turn better.
And I too owe you a lot.

[Hawthorne]

Thanks, Pugsy! I am relieved!

[djhall]

Oh, no! I just saw this and .

Pugsy, I'm so sad to hear you are going through a rough time. While reading this I was struck by how much I feel that you have touched my life even though we have never met outside this forum, PMs, and the mail. I want you to know how much that means to me. If there is anything I can do, any way to help, whatever, please contact me.