Dating and the CPAP

Hi All! From what I can tell, it seems like many of you are in relationships. Your partner heard you snore and is now grateful that you're not. I ended a long relationship about 10 months ago and am ready to date again. But I'm embarrassed about what a guy will think when I tell him I'm using a CPAP. I mean, let's be honest. It's not exactly sexy.

And for those who don't know much about sleep apnea, the common assumption is that the person is overweight/obese. I'm not a big snorer as it is-- at least my last boyfriend didn't complain. He said I snore, "softly". So I was never self-conscious about that with dating and relationships in my pre-diagnosis days. But now I'm feeling very self-conscious about it. I already live in a city where beauty standards are ridiculously unrealistic (Los Angeles).

For those of you who have dated or are dating, what's it like when you introduce them to the CPAP? How have you handled it? How have people responded?

Thoughts/stories/words of encouragement? LOL! Thanks!

I type with a limp and no one seems to care...


As you can see I believe humor is capable of helping us through awkward situations.

Pick up some extra hoses and masks and you can creatively come up with some exciting games. When all the playing is finished, mask up and spoon yourselves to sleep.

It is a way to weed out the bums real fast. If the CPAP is a problem for the guy, then you may want to kick him to the curb. He won't stand by you in the long run when things get really tough.

It is a great way to weed out the losers. The ones who don't care about your health and well being and never will are eliminated immediately.

And remember it is used when sleeping not during sex. And when you think of it - how different is it from using a condom? Both protect you from potential illness in bed.

You can look for someone who also use a CPAP.
As to: And for those who don't know much about sleep apnea, the common assumption is that the person is overweight/obese,
those with UARs are slim.

Cardsfan wrote:It is a way to weed out the bums real fast. If the CPAP is a problem for the guy, then you may want to kick him to the curb. He won't stand by you in the long run when things get really tough.

HoseCrusher-- Couldn't agree more about the importance of humor! It definitely sounds like there's some potential for party fun if I just use my imagination. HA!

I agree, Cardsfan. But I can still see a good guy feeling awkward about it. Not knowing what to say or how to respond. Wondering what it's all about. I guess that means I have to be the one to do the educating and help them to feel comfortable. If I find someone is receptive to learning about it and how it's helping me, great. Sadly, I have friends who have had to downplay their need for psych meds because the people they're with are caught up in the stigma of it all. I see this as being somewhat similar, though perhaps not to the same degree.

Maybe we should start a CPAP online dating site!

BlackSpinner wrote:
And remember it is used when sleeping not during sex. And when you think of it - how different is it from using a condom? Both protect you from potential illness in bed.

Unless you are playing astronaut games

postitnote wrote:

BlackSpinner wrote:
And remember it is used when sleeping not during sex. And when you think of it - how different is it from using a condom? Both protect you from potential illness in bed.

Unless you are playing astronaut games

Well yes and fighter pilots and firemen games.

"and how big is YOUR hose buddy?"

BlackSpinner wrote:

postitnote wrote:

BlackSpinner wrote:
And remember it is used when sleeping not during sex. And when you think of it - how different is it from using a condom? Both protect you from potential illness in bed.

Unless you are playing astronaut games

Well yes and fighter pilots and firemen games.

"and how big is YOUR hose buddy?"

LOL! I can see that this has the potential to turn kinky. LOL! I think after all of the game playing, it sounds like there wouldn't be much sleep anyway! But seriously. Are any of you from Southern California? The standards here are crazy. It's hard to think that good guys who are accepting and possibly into CPAP role playing exist in Los Angeles. If any of you are from cities where you think that guys are more open/playful/caring, let me know. Because I live in Los Angeles. I'm a stone's throw from Hollywood. And the people here are superficial as f*ck. I've heard that about a lot of big cities, though.

Kinky, the frog appreciates kinky.

chunkyfrog wrote:Kinky, the frog appreciates kinky.

chunkyfrog, it's a shame you're a woman. I mean, it's not a shame. But if you were a guy, I'd be saying, "Hey....how you doin'?" LOL!

The bullfrog delights me! Often.

chunkyfrog wrote:The bullfrog delights me! Often.

LOL! Bad frog...bad. Bad!

corvallisgrace75 wrote:

chunkyfrog wrote:Kinky, the frog appreciates kinky.

chunkyfrog, it's a shame you're a woman. I mean, it's not a shame. But if you were a guy, I'd be saying, "Hey....how you doin'?" LOL!

well, ya know, that's legal now....

corvallisgrace75 wrote:
LOL! I can see that this has the potential to turn kinky. LOL! I think after all of the game playing, it sounds like there wouldn't be much sleep anyway! But seriously. Are any of you from Southern California? The standards here are crazy. It's hard to think that good guys who are accepting and possibly into CPAP role playing exist in Los Angeles. If any of you are from cities where you think that guys are more open/playful/caring, let me know. Because I live in Los Angeles. I'm a stone's throw from Hollywood. And the people here are superficial as f*ck. I've heard that about a lot of big cities, though.

My husband and I were married 20 years when I was dx'd. He married me for better or worse as I did him. There are times I'd like to roll over and wrap the hose around his neck but then who would I play astronaut with?

I used to spend a lot of time in LA. It was a long time ago but even back then it was pretty high maintenance! Stay away from guys wearing more product than you are and that smell better You don't need to mention your cpap from the get-go. It's not a kid at home they need to know about. You don't have to spend the entire night with the guy either. Kick his butt out the door and make him sleep in his own bed.