Top creative uses for a CPAP machine (humor)

LoriD · Post by **LoriD** » Sun Feb 25, 2007 6:20 pm

Credit: ASAA Message Boards

Think a CPAP machine only has one use? Others have thought of more creative ways to make their machines more fun:

Cooling your wife off when she has a hot flash.

Drying finger nail polish.

Blow drying the bird after its bath.

Inflating balloons.

Turning the bathtub into a spa.

If you have a full-face mask pretend to be Darth Vader.

Make elephant noises.

Put the end of the hose up to her ear and whisper sweet nothings.

Play Lawrence Welk music and use it to make bubbles.

Pretend the hose is a clarinet and hum a tune through it.

Leaf blower.

Also good for blowing out those hard to reach dust bunnies from beneath the bed.

Use high setting on humidifier to make teas & soups. Also to simmer potpourri to freshen air.

The one hair dryer you CAN use while sleeping.

Use mask to dress up on Halloween as a fighter pilot or elephant.

Quick and easy way to get cats to give up the bed when you want to lie down.

Use hose as power straw to chug-a-lug your beverage of choice.

Aquarium aerator. The fish love it.

With a long tube, serves well for air supply while scuba diving (don´t try this for real).

A flatulence re arranger.

A birthday candle(s) extinguisher.

Hot soup blower/cooler.

Global warming combater (for hot days).

When your partner farts in bed, you never need to smell it!!

pedroski · Post by **pedroski** » Sun Feb 25, 2007 7:13 pm

When your partner farts in bed, you never need to smell it!!

Unless the foul brew happens to waft close enough to the air intake for the machine, in which case, cruel torture! This information must be kept secret from partners, just in case they have an urge one day for revenge.

Peter

LoriD · Post by **LoriD** » Sun Feb 25, 2007 10:10 pm

ROFL!!!! Good point! But you know, speaking of all things smelly, I can't even tell if the cats "used" the box during the night until I take my mask off in the morning. Sometimes, it isn't so bad...others, it would wake the dead and I wished I left the mask ON!

sleepinginseattle · Post by **sleepinginseattle** » Sun Feb 25, 2007 10:22 pm

I've used mine to inflate an air mattress while camping. I'm not sure this is a good idea but at my pressure it sure is effective.

Kelly · Post by **Kelly** » Mon Feb 26, 2007 5:54 pm

It's great to read something funny!! Thanks for posting it.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Feb 27, 2007 12:19 am

I once used my spare to cool my computer cpu when the fan died.
Worked like a charm.

No way it will inflate an air matress,

Will not work in aquarium like regular aerators do- will not bubble up from bottom. only from top few inches. would take a long time to blow leaves.
tomjax

Snoredog · Post by **Snoredog** » Tue Feb 27, 2007 12:28 am

You mean you don't use your cpap machine for a HVLP sprayer compressor?

Should work just fine

http://www.fujispray.com/hvlp_components.htm

dsm · Post by **dsm** » Tue Feb 27, 2007 3:44 am

Just add a couple of male amazon fighting fish into your humidifier before going to sleep, but do keep the temp low (don't wanna cook em before the fun starts, do we )

They will provide a few mins entertainment before you go to sleep

D

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Feb 27, 2007 5:48 am

Snoredog.

Afraid there is no way a pap would provide the pressure for the HVLP painter as well the mattress.

But I know you are pulling my/our leg
tomjax-
why am I being guested out?

sleepinginseattle · Post by **sleepinginseattle** » Wed Feb 28, 2007 1:04 pm

I'm not kidding about the air mattress. See the Big Angnes Insulated Air Core mattress http://www.bigagnes.com/str_pads.php?id=ia . I've inflated that one many times successfully. Of course, I'm talking about putting the initial bulk of air into the mattress, I then pressurize it with my lungs. But the advantage of using the CPAP is inflation in abouts 10 breaths compared to about 50. So it saves both time and lungs.

_________________

CPAPopedia Keywords Contained In This Post (Click For Definition): CPAP

littlebaddow · Post by **littlebaddow** » Wed Feb 28, 2007 1:36 pm

pedroski wrote:
When your partner farts in bed, you never need to smell it!!
Unless the foul brew happens to waft close enough to the air intake for the machine, in which case, cruel torture! This information must be kept secret from partners, just in case they have an urge one day for revenge.

Remember that works both ways though
When you fart in bed, you never smell it but your partner does

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 28, 2007 4:46 pm

Sleepinginseattle,
If you were closer to Jax fl than Seattle, I would be on my way to your house with my piggybank against your piggybank and put you on welfare before sundown.

Ain't no way!!!!
If we are talking about attaching a hose to the inlet and turning the PAP on and the unit rises and inflates

I have an aerobed- should work with that too, right?

I would not dare even try it because I know the answer-
We MUST be talking about different things.
tomjax

Bet- fold the matress in half and put couple of diet sodas on open folded end.
attach pap.
start video.
if matress unfolds itself and becomes rigid and sodas fall off I will send you whatever you want to bet.

This assumes the unit is flat to start with and does not unfold on its own.
tomjax

sleepinginseattle · Post by **sleepinginseattle** » Wed Feb 28, 2007 6:52 pm

Tomjax,

It's the truth. I spent a lot of time camping last summer. And I did a lot of it on my own on a motorcycle. I devoted a considerable amount of time to devising a system so that I could carry an auxiliary battery in my motorcycle luggage and recharge that battery while I rode. Anyway, that's a different subject. But the truth is I have that very mattress I referenced (Big Agnes Insulated Air) and I take my 420G CPAP, my 17amp battery, hose and mask on every camping trip. I hold the hose to the open valve end of the mattress (sealing the gaps with my hand) and up she goes. 11cm straight pressure is plenty. But, I admit when I first tried it I was surprised that it worked too!

The bottom line on motorcycle camping is traveling light. I got enough extra gear with all the CPAP, battery, hose crap. There's no way I'd want to carry an air pump just for the mattress so it actually feels like I get a two-fer with the CPAP along.

Now most motorcyclists carry some sort of tire repair and inflation kit in case they get a blow out in the middle of nowhere. I'm not sure the CPAP could handle that, but...

See ya,

Cale

-SWS · Post by **-SWS** » Wed Feb 28, 2007 7:10 pm

I think Blarg's CPAP just may be calling out:

Come o'er the room, bagpipes,
Dear bagpipes, brave bagpipes...

(above: "Come O'er the Stream Charlie" rewritten for the occasion CPAP meets bagpipes)

WillSucceed · Post by **WillSucceed** » Wed Feb 28, 2007 8:02 pm

I use my RemStar with C-FLEX (set at 3!) to blow out the tubing on my 420E each night before I connect up. AFter reading some posts about people finding a bug in their hose/mask, I blow my hosing out every night.

Having the C-FLEX set to 3 REALLY helps!

Top creative uses for a CPAP machine (humor)

Top creative uses for a CPAP machine (humor)

cpap uses

hvlp

inflating

Machine	Mask