Apnea and a new baby

Hi everyone!

My wife and I are trying to have another baby after our son, Andrew, passed away last September (before CPAP therapy).

How many of you out there have dealt with a new baby in the house and CPAP therapy?
How do you work out sleep schedules?
How do you feel?
Have you noticed a difference in your health with the fragmented sleep (even with therapy)?

Thanks, and wish us luck!

I can't advise you but want to send my heartfelt sympathy to you and your wife.

Thanks jdm. I appreciate that.

If there is anything worse than watching your baby die in your arms... I don't want to know about it.

tattooyu wrote:Thanks jdm. I appreciate that.

If there is anything worse than watching your baby die in your arms... I don't want to know about it.

I'm so sorry for your loss. May you never have to know that pain again.

Margaret

Well, as a mother of a 1 year old baby and an xpap patient, I feel I am uniquely qualified to answer your question. In my case, I had been on cpap for about 4 months when I felt sooooo much better that I decided I was finally ready to have child number 2. I got pregnant quickly and the pregnancy was relatively easy and uncomplicated. Unlike my first pregnancy 5 years before my blood pressure kept going down instead of up. I never showed any sign of pre-eclampsia which was a concern with my first pregnancy. I seemed to get healthier and healthier as the pregnancy went on. I also slept better during the pregnancy than I had my whole life. I would fall asleep at 9pm and wake up at 7 am without getting up even once to go the bathroom--even up to the very end.

Then the baby was born. He had a serious jaundice condition and we spent a lot of extra days in the hospital. That alone was absolutely exhausting. But it wasn't smooth sailing from there, he also had reflux/colic and didn't sleep well until we finally got him on prevasid at age 3 months. Throughout this our older son started having some sleep issues which we have finally determined are caused by milk intolerance.

So, around 6 months Baby Charlie started sleeping pretty well at night, without waking up too much. The only exception was when he was getting some of his teeth recently.

And how am I doing? The stress of caring for an infant, breastfeeding him and the cumulative sleep disruption/debt over time have left me feeling pretty depleted even now. I definitely felt better during the pregnancy than I do now. My blood pressure (which once required meds--but went down to low-normal after cpap) has been higher than it should be again. I was getting so moody around Christmas that I had to resort to an antidepressant that is safe for breastfeeding. I feel tired most of the time. I think if I could get in a week or two of 9 to 10 hour nights I would probably bounce back. But that won't be possible for a while unless they invent 30 hour days or something.

So, that is the ugly truth. You, being male, presumably won't have the extra stressor of producing milk! And I think it is easier for the one who goes to work, than for the one left doing all the work at home--because they get a break from the baby and get to be with other adults. My best advice would be to get as much help as you can from others so that you and your wife can get as many zzz's as possible whenever you can sneak them in. And use your cpap every time you sleep--even naps. I have fallen asleep in a chair and woke up absolutely miserable for the rest of the day!

Regardless of how hard it may or may not be for you, it is always worth it. Children are a blessing. Just eat well and do your best.

I have had two miscarriages which absolutely broke my heart, but I can't imagine the pain you must have suffered at the loss of your child. I send you my best wishes to you and your wife for a healthy pregnancy and child.

I hope that answers your questions. Feel free to ask any others you might think of.

Jen

It's been so long since I was a new mother that cpap wasn't even around. But as long as it's been, I still remember how the loss you described feels. I went on to have two daughters, but I don't remember loss of sleep having too much effect on me during their infancy.

As a fairly new cpap user, I'm guessing going back to fractured sleep is not something you're looking forward too. Hopefully with the sleep in between being of better quality, a few wakeups every night won't feel as bad as pre cpap days. Dealing with the mask adds an extra layer of inconvenience, but it should just be for a few weeks (or months at the most). If you and your wife can stagger your schedules it could mean fewer wakeups for each of you, especially if one of you is a nightowl and the other a morning lark. And giving each other the gift of some concentrated nap time a few times a week could help offset the lost and broken sleep.

Don't know your sleeping arrangements for the baby or if your wife will be nursing, but others have mentioned being concerned that with cpap they would not hear the baby crying. Putting a monitor right by your head should take care of that. If you plan on holding the baby at night with your mask on, vent placement could matter. Seems to me the Headrest, which vents upward, is practical in that respect. And it seems easy on - easy off will be what you need in a mask for a while.

Might be nice if using cpap would give you a free pass on the night feedings, but you don't want to miss sharing everything with your wife in the baby's care. And the extra inconvenience is a small contribution in view of what she will be contributing in pregnancy and childbirth. However, if you accomodate her a whole lot at every opportunity, she might just show you some grace on some of those night feedings.

Let us know when all this is more than a notion.

Kathy

CPAP wasn't available when my sons were babies, so I've not practical advice. However, I am so sorry for the pain that you and your wife endured. That is just heartbreaking.

I think that you will probably have to work out a lot of the issues as you go through them. There are so many variables coming into play. Parents of new babies are always sleep deprived with or without CPAP machines. Thankfully, as Kathy mentioned, you can use a monitor, and there are some really good ones out there these days.

As far as hearing the baby cry with the cpap on, I haven't found that to be an issue. I do use a baby monitor because the baby is across the hall in his own room, but I've never had trouble waking up to attend to his needs in the night. That will really be an individual by individual basis. I would recommend against sleeping with the baby even if your wife is nursing--the American Acadamy of Pediatrics recommends against it because you cannot control your actions when you are asleep and babies do get rolled over on etc. That said, I accidentally fell asleep several times when holding Charlie in those early weeks because he needed to be held a lot and I was tired! Usually this was in a recliner while he was nursing at night. And while I never dropped him, newborn babies do jerk and flail and there were a couple of close calls. I tried really hard not to let that happen. Eventually I downloaded books to my mp3 player to keep my mind occupied so I wouldn't fall asleep while nursing him in the middle of the night in the dark.

Kathy has lots of great ideas about schedules etc, and I hope they would work out for you! You certainly have to adapt and do whatever is practical. Always try to think outside the box when it comes to newborns.

I didn't mean to sound discouraging--I would do it all again in a heartbeat. Not everyone is going to have all the issues that we had when Charlie is new--severe jaundice, colic, reflux and nursing problems really took its toll on me. Having a second child who at one point at age 5 was waking up more than the baby--well that added a whole new layer of sleep disruption. I try to go to bed early, but I am a night owl and my kids are morning larks, as Kathy so eloquently put it. The evening is my only time entirely my own (after the chores are done, that is) so I am reluctant to give up that time until I am dead tired each night. I try to make up as much time on weekends as I can.

I have found taking fish oil supplements (natrol omega-3 complex) to be VERY helpful and I think eating well has really made a difference as well.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Jen

Thanks everyone. I know we're a ways off yet (not even pregnant), but the thought had crossed my mind. I guess I'll just have to suck it up for a while, and we will definitely ask for help from family and friends so we can get SOME Zzzzs.