Work travel w/ CPAP and possible hotel roommates

I just found out that I may be making a trip for a training seminar later this year and it is possible that another co-worker might go as well. If so, I am sure we will be expected to share a hotel room (pretty sure it would be another female going, possibly one that there is already tension with).

Does anyone have any tips on how to handle this? I don't want this to cause any problems, both on a cost level and disturbing the sleep of any roommates. But I also don't want to be so much trouble that they decide not to send me to the seminar. I am especially worried if the other person going ends up being the 1 with whom there is already some tension...sharing a room w/ her would be bad enough w/o the CPAP as a factor.

So what are you asking? How to tell the person you sleep with the machine or just dealing with spending the night in a hotel with a person you have tension with?

Their choice is allow you to sleep with the machine or listen to you snore all night. I think most will prefer the machine...

I would think the only way to go about this is to smile and say yes to going, yes to sharing, yes to sharing with THIS person. And do not tell any other co-workers that you are friendly with that you are worried about sharing with this person. This is how rumors start. And rumors always get back to the wrong person.

Don't bring up CPAP with your boss, don't bring it up with her (before the event). As an employer, anytime something that should be "easy" and should be responded to with a "yes boss" gets even slightly more complicated by personal issues, then I am stressed, and unfortunately no matter how sympathetic I am to your condition - now I need to deal with an "issue".

The time to tell the person you are sharing the room with that you are on CPAP is about 10-mins before you set up the machine and put on the mask. Its too late to cancel the trip, to late to change rooms and if she does anything other than accept you and your machine she will look like the fool for not being sympathetic to your condition. And if she ever brought up her night with "the boss" - then she is the source of the bosses "stress", not you and your CPAP.

don't get me wrong you can be an employer and have a big heart and willing to deal with employee issues. it is what one does every day. But the more things that go "as planned" without any hiccup - the better day I had.

BTW - I do not make my staff share rooms. Not even my warehouse staff who go out of town on service work. It always leads to fights, excessive drinking and a whole host of problems. But no matter how much you want to, its a bad idea to try and get your employer to give you sperate rooms.


Just one point of view of course.

carbophat wrote:So what are you asking? How to tell the person you sleep with the machine or just dealing with spending the night in a hotel with a person you have tension with?

I guess I am mainly asking how other folks handled it in the past. Did you request work accomodate you with a separate room? Just tell the roommate in advance and see if they want to request a separate room? Tell them what you're doing as you set up the machine? And if a room was shared, any tips for making it easier on the other person.

The later I know I will just have to suck it up and try to make the best of it. I mainly mentioned it in the context of adding the CPAP issue on top of other existing issues.

I'm the type of person who hates to be any sort of imposition on anyone and would feel guilty about disturbing sleep.

Can you book another room and pay for it yourself? You probably could get any discount that the company gets.

This would solve the problem and create no aggravation for your boss.

Just set up your machine and say nothing unless asked about it...

2ndGenCPAPgal wrote: I'm the type of person who hates to be any sort of imposition on anyone and would feel guilty about disturbing sleep.

I think that if you didn't use your machine, you'd end up disturbing them more... At least that is what would happen if I didn't use mine. As far as dealing with that person, I'm of the mind set of: "What anyone thinks of me or how I am is not important. Only what I think of myself is what matters".

David

I don't see this as an issue. Decide who gets which bed (a bigger issue in my mind ) and immediately unpack your CPAP and set it up on your side of the nightstand and plug in its power strip & outage alarm. Arrange any other stuff you need next to it (alarm, nose sprays, eyeglass case, LED pen light, etc), leave mask packed on the bed so it's convenient. THEN, unpack everything else. If you don't make an issue of it, unlikely anyone else will either. The sound of today's units is low and unlikely to bother anyone.

Now, if no one in your company knows you have apnea, that's a whole new kettle of fish to deal with and you might prefer to pay for a separate room as opposed to everyone learning you have apnea.

Thank you all for your replies. Definitely a couple points that I hadn't even considered. I was thinking that it would go over worse by not giving some "warning" but I now see the reasoning for just not making anything of it at all.

especially worried if the other person going ends up being the 1 with whom there is already some tension...sharing a room w/ her would be bad enough w/o the CPAP as a factor.

From my experience when you expect discrimination pretend it isn't there and let the others make fools of themsleves. Assume everything is ok, bring your cpap, set it up and use it as required, Don't tell, don't ask. Then if she complains she will look like a ass complaining about a medical necessity. You have absolutely nothing to apologize for.

Personally I would never have shared a room before my cpap, now I don't consider it a problem.

2gen,

Everything is an opportunity. As others have said, go to the hotel, pick your bed and set up your gear. Since there is already tension with this person, they will either a) get cranky about it, either because they are a cranky person or because of the previous tension. If so, it is THEIR problem, not yours. Don't let them make you feel guilty about it, and for goodness sake don't let them guilt you into not using it or feeling guilty that you do. Put it back on them.

Or b) they will say nothing, either because of the previous tension or because they don't care or are self absorbed. Possibility c) is that your cpap will become a conversation starter. This is more likely than you might think. People are naturally curious, and the knowledge that you have and share with her might even ease some of the previous tension between you. It's even possible that she knows someone who uses CPAP, or has OSA and needs to, like a husband or father who snores like a freight train. Explain as much as you are comfortable with and she seems receptive to, and leave it at that.

Remember, if this person is really cheesed off at you, it doesn't matter what you do or don't do, they will find/make up a reason to be offended. The color of your PJs or the way you brush your teeth will do the trick if they want it to. Just take care of yourself, be as pleasant as you can and don't let them get under your skin. You will be fine.

I agree completely with treehorn & sheldon. Do not even discuss it. Do you recall how loud the A/C systems are in hotel rooms? Way louder than any cpap machine 90% of the time....unless you're in an upper-crust room which may have a more refined system. I have shared room on conference trips, and just set up the machine on a chair or on top of my suitcase on the opposite side of my bed from roommate's bed. They have always told me they can't hear it at all. And this includes the time when I used flex and felt like the roaring of my breath in & out would drive them crazy. Treat it as a complete non-issue.

One more thing....when asked about APNEA I've tried to downplay the snoring and concentrate instead on explaining it's a solution to keep a person from stopping breathing while sleeping. Snoring is just a symptom.

2ndGenCPAPgal wrote:I just found out that I may be making a trip for a training seminar later this year and it is possible that another co-worker might go as well. If so, I am sure we will be expected to share a hotel room (pretty sure it would be another female going, possibly one that there is already tension with).

Does anyone have any tips on how to handle this? ....

I guess I'll have to present a dissenting voice from all of the rest who've advised that you not say anything. But I will qualify what I'm about to say with an "it depends" (see end of my post).

Many larger employers (and some smaller ones, too) have policies regarding accommodation of those with disabilities. There's no reason that you should have to share your disability with a co-worker, especially if it makes you uncomfortable. No reputable employer would make you do so against your will. If your employer is the sort that would make an issue out of it, or chose to hold it against you, you have to ask yourself whether this is the sort of employer you want to work for, anyway.

If you work for an enlightened employer, then by all means, discuss it with your boss. Pick a quiet time of day when stresses for you boss are lowest and simply request that you be allowed to book single accommodations for the trip. If asked why, you can explain that you need it because of a medical condition for which you need privacy and you can add that it also would be less awkward for any room-mate if shared accommodation is required. From there, you'll need to decide if you want to provide an explanation to your boss about your SA (if indeed he/she is insensitive enough to demand an explanation).

Cudos to Treehorn for providing single accommodations to his traveling staff. However, his suggestion that an employer could be upset because such a request is an "issue", then I'm sorry. How big an issue can it be to authorize and pay the small cost for a single room supplement? If this is an issue, then how does the employer deal with _real_ problems in the workplace and business?

I started this post with an "it depends". The other side of this coin is that if you work for the boss from hell, or if you really really really need this job and have limited or no ability to move-on, or if approaching your boss with a request for approval for a single room is more problematic for you then sharing your room with a co-worker, then by all means, just-share-the-room. Other posters have given you great advice on how to do this.

Whatever you decide, do not discuss with your boss anything related to tension with your co-worker. That could be an "issue" that he/she will not thank you for.