O/T Poems Involving Sleep Apnea

This is a poem I wrote that started with sleep therapy panic. Then it became something else. Remembering an old girl friend, my newborn grand niece, the death of my brother who looked a lot like me, and I stole the last line or shaped in on a memory of T.S. Elliot.

I Awaken

I awaken to labored breath
small aches loom large
I do not want to stop
breathing, wanting to breath
Are you there Death,
were you just here?

The music of living
the little glories are unfaded
I awaken in the wee hour
knowing I still love you
That new little life, dreaming
A heart full embrace
I look in the mirror and see

I see you, looking back
I hear you in my own voice
We are only a little apart
these ghosts rise up
even as we three kings
bring our gifts and adoration

We are not far now
from that shore, the shadow
emerging from the mists
the waters run through
the decks, the sails tatter
in a wind that blows not here

I should not be surprised
were an arm to rise wielding
a sword, there are doors
someone was just here
a moment ago, I felt lingering
regard and knew we are
just at the threshold

it is all together in this
the cliffs at dawn, morning dew,
quick darting fish, the predator
the joy of snatched food, daring
escape and so much more
Let my cry come to thee

William Shannon 0227 03/28/11

Wow, that is powerful and moving. I admire your ability to write. Thank you for sharing.

I wrote this one between the two sleep studies. It was another 6-7 weeks before my second sleep study and then I got my ASV so I could sleep. I was afraid of falling asleep. I wrote this after a fitful night. Its about the memory of being able to sleep and then having sleep leave me like a lover who sneaks away.

Last Breath

My muse of sleep
I lay in her arms
dreaming of life
When I began
to fall in the air

I fell into its deep
canyons beneath
the limits of the sea
I fell into the void
between the stars

you, so, carefully,
left me, there, as if
in a moment
you would return

as if for a moment
you looked away
not leaving me
forever alone

I lie awake, waiting,
for that last breath
when I fall asleep
the last time

09/29/10 07:03 William Shannon