Grumpy Old Man

I had posted this in DoriC's thread about her wonderful Ganddaughter then decided I shouldn't have posted it there so I reposted it here.
I printed this poem and framed it for my uncle when he was 92 and living in a nursing home. He loved it.

What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . when you’re looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food .. . … . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . .’I do wish you’d try!’
Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . … lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you’re thinking?. .Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .you’re not looking at me.
I’ll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.
I’m a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he’ll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . ..my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . to see I don’t mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .. …Babies play ’round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future … . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . And the love that I’ve known.
I’m now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
It’s jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I’m loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man .
Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. …. . ME!!

I love this poem Stormy. I think this should be posted in every assisted living facility and nursing home throughout the US to remind the staff members what working with the elderly is about about.

49er

Stormynights wrote:I had posted this in DoriC's thread about her wonderful Ganddaughter then decided I shouldn't have posted it there so I reposted it here.
I printed this poem and framed it for my uncle when he was 92 and living in a nursing home. He loved it.

What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . when you’re looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food .. . … . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . .’I do wish you’d try!’
Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . … lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you’re thinking?. .Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .you’re not looking at me.
I’ll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.
I’m a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he’ll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . ..my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . to see I don’t mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .. …Babies play ’round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future … . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . And the love that I’ve known.
I’m now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
It’s jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I’m loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man .
Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. …. . ME!!

This does deserve it's own thread! I'm relating. Do you know who wrote it?

49er wrote:I love this poem Stormy. I think this should be posted in every assisted living facility and nursing home throughout the US to remind the staff members what working with the elderly is about about.

49er

+ 1 !!! I agree with 49er and DoriC that it is a excellent poem that should be shared! It might be good to remember to look through our hearts first and then our eyes. To treat and view others how we would want to be treated and viewed; no one is worthless or expendable if we do our best to do this with those around us and in our lives.

I know I need to continually work at this myself...

John

DoriC wrote:This does deserve it's own thread! I'm relating. Do you know who wrote it?

I tried to find out who wrote it but couldn't. I think it is mostly titled Crabby Old man. There is also a woman's version of this poem. I may print that one and frame it for me.

Lately I have been bed bug parinoid and ask several older women what they used for bed bugs years ago. You can learn a lot from older people if you just ask questions and listen.

here's the original poem with a nurse reply poem.

http://people.umass.edu/support/oags/wh ... 0nurse.pdf

I am in the middle of this poem sans children and grandkids. Actually glad God chose not to give the wife and I them. With our health woes we would just be a drag on them. I find myself being grumpy at times and since going in a wheelchair and then her anurism the wife has that scared rabbit outlook. We would just be a concern on them and I would worry constantly how they were going to fare in this country as it seems to be going down the toilet but without the dignity of a smooth flush. Just a plunger forcing it down into the sewer as it trys to stay stuck between the bowl and the final drop into the pipe.

During our 30's and 40's we did a lot of volunteer work in nursing homes. It was amazing how many residents that the staff would warn us how negative, grumpy or whatever label they had branded them to find with just a few kind words how sweet most most of their "bad" patients actually were. Sometimes seems the staff at these places get in work mode and in the daily vrind of dealing with patients one or two bad experiences with someone put them in defensive mode where they start expecting them to act up and when they expect it they then somehow drag more of that side out of the patient. A fresh set of eyes and attitude can often find nothing but sweetness and love. We really miss our nursing home work but shant be long before we will be in one ourselves. Time does move so fast. I do recommend everyone do some volunteer work in a facility or two while young enough to get a feel for the dynamics so you have time to plan if you can live in this environment or not and thus have time to plan how you will deal with the logistics of aging.

Out of our time we ended up altering our environment to hopefully avoid moving into a facility or at least delay it. At 29 I pur hased a house with no steps. Not to get into the front or side door. In the remodel all doorways were widened to 36 inches so wbeelchairs would easily fit. All hardwood or tile floors without any height differences where they transition. I downloaded tbe Americans with Disability Act recomendations for construction. All bathrooms got ADA approved toilets, handicap grab rails and fixtures such as levers for door opening instead of round knobs and water faucets. From day one when we finished the remodel you could roll up in your wheelchair into either door. Open the doors with hands in a cast or completely missing. Hospital grade electrical outlets on either side of all beds and one on every wall tied to the electrical panel circuits that stay energized even during an electrical outage by a mostly whole house automatic emergency generator. Two outlets in each room and our priority lighting is additionally backed up by multiple racks of 100 amp hour telecom batteries. Have a total of 48 of the big 100 plus pound monster batteries. Our home is six miles from the largest hospital in the region which has the #1 rated beart center and general survery rating in the state. Our primary care doctors office is two miles from our house, my DME is five miles, three operations offices for home health care organizations within four miles, fire station three miles and within range of meals on wheels.

If one of us has to go into a full time care facility we have five to choose from less than three miles from house. My sleep lab and doc is three miles, internist 3 miles and cancer center six miles. All this and we dont live in a subdivision and our house is on a non busy road and fronts on of the states largest lakes. Can sit on our back deck overlooking the lake without having to see another house. It took preplanning and timing to get this place. I found this little area in my early 20's and kept an eye on the houses here for seven years and when the first one popped up on the market I jumped on it as soon as it was listed. Friends thought I was nutts doing all this in my 20's. But now in my 50's lakefront homes in this last outpost of a community before you hit the edge of town on the hospital side of town would be financially impossible for me. The two times we called 911 fire/rescue response time to in door of house was less than five minutes from call. The time we needed transport it was eight minutes to the hospital in the ambulance. EMT packaging for transport took five minutes. So from call to in the door of emergency room was 18 minutes. A better residential location this close to all our health care is an almost impossible feat but I knew from working in first response during early 20's what a difference a few minutes makes.

Last piece of info you all may find usefull. Our fire department and lots of others offers free fire plans. They send two repdesentatives from fire services and do a property survey and information form. When/if they get a call from our address a detailed layout of our house comes up on their computer screens in the trucks. They know where bedrooms are, emergency disconnect for power, layout of home, natural gas shut off and pretty much anything else of interest to them for fire or health call out. Every ten years I call them and they come out and update our fire plan. Last time they even listed that wife was in wheelchair and I use xpap equipment. I advise all to check with their F.D. to see if fire plans are offered. If so, the minutes saved in response time may be the difference if you have to pull their chain. Had we not done a lot of this early when the wife was suddenly relegated to a wheelchair in January it would have been a cluster to rework the house so she had full mobility after the fact. Odds are every couple is going into a chair at some point.

You were very smart to start planning ahead while you were young . When I was young I just couldn't imagine ever being old.

Stormynights wrote:You were very smart to start planning ahead while you were young . When I was young I just couldn't imagine ever being old.

Stormy, we are not old, just young challenged

John

I like that John.

Hueyville, it sounds like you made some wise forward thinking decisions earlier than many. Some of us wait until we are forced to make adjustments, making an already stressful time even worse, or maybe necessitating a nursing home stay. For a homeowner with no expectation of relocation and who is financially able to take on those remodels, that's a great thing to have one less worry ahead. Sounds like you have an ideal and idyllic situation there. Best I can do at this point is only rent apartments with no steps - started giving that factor consideration in recent years.